Appreciate the other things he does that are not financial; this will teach him to see that there is more to a man than finances
When you do something financial, don't keep reminding him you are the one who did it and not him
1. Be humble and don't flaunt the fact that you earn more.
2. Allow him to be the man and pay for things himself.
3. Discuss this issue with him if you feel it is bringing unnecessary conflict.
4. Appreciate the other things he does that are not financial; this will teach him to see that there is more to a man than finances.
5. Don't make him feel like a failure.
6. When you do something financial, don't keep reminding him you are the one who did it and not him.
7. Don't look at doing things for the family as "bailing him out" it is all for the family. You are in this together.
8. Cover him publicly, don't announce to others how you help him or how much you do.
9. Don't keep complaining and asking when will he do more. This will make him feel pushed away and will make him open up to you less. Nagging never gets the desired results.
10. Get to study his financial strengths and weaknesses. We all have those in different aspects of life and that is why you need each other.
11. Support his dreams and be his cheerleader, remember you carry favour.
12. Look out for opportunities for him to grow but don't order him to take them, rather suggest and encourage him.
13. Don't use words such as "Man up" or "You need to be the man in this marriage"; to get a man to do more, don't talk him down, inspire him up by praising the little or much he does and calling forth the King in him.
14. Don't compare him with other men who you think are doing better than him.
Having said all the above, If the man is just plain insecure because you are a higher earner, there is nothing much you can do, don't dim your light to accommodate him though. Keep shining.
If unmarried, don't worry, God can bless you with one who is comfortable with his Queen winning in life
Remember that just because he has less today, doesn't mean he always will
Also ask yourself how would you want to be treated and talked to if you were the one with less or doing less financially.
© Akello Oliech & Dayan Masinde
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