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Lifestyle
Do church girls make the best wives?
By Dayan Masinde | Updated Feb 17, 2019 at 12:37 EAT
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SUMMARY

The motive to go to Church services was not to worship but to look for a wife

They felt they had reached the age of marrying, they were done playing and messing around with women in the world, for marriage, they were now looking for born again women who they deem to be wife material

They were dressed up in sharp suits. We were talking about marriage.

Their motive to go to Church services was not to worship but to look for a wife. They felt they had reached the age of marrying, they were done playing and messing around with women in the world, for marriage, they were now looking for born again women who they deem to be wife material.

I have seen this narrative play over and over again. When some men and women feel it is time to get married, they start being active in Church services and activities as a vetting ground to find a spouse. They do this thinking a man or woman who has given their life to God will make a polite, faithful, kind and gentle spouse who won't give them stress. To get that kind of a Godly spouse, some of these people start acting Godly because they know that such Godly people pray for Godly spouses.

They will act. They will serve in Church with passion (notice how many people become active in Church when they are anticipating to have a wedding soon and need to be in the good book of the pastor and congregants?), they will wear the finest of clothes, they will join ministries, maybe even get into leadership, give financially, quote Scriptures, all to win the approval of many and gain the attention of a potential spouse. The genuinely Godly potential spouse falls for this demonstration of Godliness, then they date, court and get married.

In marriage you cannot hide, your real self will show up. Slowly, the true colours of these people who acted to be Godly starts showing up. Their spouse starts wondering why they have changed. These people start spending less time on the things of God, they get tired of acting, they get tired of pretending they are prayerful, their true character shows. Because the reason for their actions was to get married, now that they achieved their goal, they see no need to act Godly.

Slowly, the Godly spouse who fell for the act starts wondering what happened to the one they married. A marriage built on falsehoods is painful.

This calls for discernment, if you are single, be careful. How someone is active in Church services and how well they dress and quote Bible verses is not an indicator that they have truly submitted to God and have a healthy relationship with God. There is a lot of acting going on in the two-hour Church services. Don't fall for someone's gifts, be it the gift of singing, preaching, dancing, leading or public speaking; look for the fruit. Does the person bear the fruit of the Holy Spirit?

This calls for honesty. If you convinced someone into marrying you by acting Godly know that if you got saved to please a potential spouse, you will not sustain it. Your salvation was not based on conviction but a desire for marriage. It is time for you to reflect on your relationship with God. This is personal. God wants to have a real encounter with you.

Choose today, will you follow God for real or live a lie? If you are truly born again but you did marry someone who lured you by acting Godly, remember how you treat them will determine whether they get ministered to by the God in you. Don't let that pretending spouse shake your foundation and salvation, hold firm to your faith even as you navigate the issues in your marriage.

Your salvation has always been a personal decision, not dependent on whether your spouse is serious about salvation too or not.

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