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10 indicators that you might be brain-washed
By Gladwell Pamba | Updated Jan 23, 2019 at 22:13 EAT
Photo [Courtesy]

You think African brew is dirty

You think English is a better language than Swahili

There is nothing bad like imitating things blindly. It is good to appreciate good things, embrace a few changes here and there where necessary, but never lose yourself in the process.

People like me are guilty as charged. It reminds me of the saying of ukimuiga tembo kunya, utapasuka msamba.

We, Africans were colonized, ideologies imposed on us and the impact is still felt as people feel ashamed of their identity. How to know you are brain-washed:

  1. The African films, songs, dances are nonsense to you. You think zilizopendwa are empty noises and glorify hard rock or some alien genres. You belittle your own entertainment industry, saying they are not creative, are boring; have not invested…bla bla bla. You go ahead to make a fool of yourself by describing how poor African directors are and how the story lines are pathetic. You see nothing positive in your country .Are you creative yourself?
  2. You think African brew is dirty, poisonous and western liquor is the best thing that crossed your path. Do you have any idea how these traditional brews are sweet? Do you? Can you even compare it to anything? You are usually heard saying, hawa watu maskini hukunywa nini izi?
  3. You know all the states in America, America’s history since 800BC, but you don’t know the name of your ward or sub-county. You do not know about the Rendille. In fact, you are surprised there is such a tribe in Kenya. You don’t know our president’s or country’s history. Yet, you can recite how Canada came into existence or Hitler’s history.
  4. You think English is a better language than Swahili/mother-tongue and have literally ceased using them. You insist on speaking with a twang and speaking English even to the touts or cobblers and imagine those who use Swahili/sheng are not smart enough. You think you are Queen Elizabeth?
  5. You think those who have beliefs are just superstitious and barbaric and that they have not seen the light. You have thus denounced your tribe and even want to drop your African names. But when Mexicans have traditions of jumping the broom, you say they are ahead. When the Brits insist on firm handshakes and not hug as their custom, you are awed.
  6. You laugh at those with strong mother-tongue influence, yet when the speakers with rhotic accents or the French speak with strong accents you get excited and want to speak like them. Aren’t you a vegetable?
  7. You have stopped eating traditional foods like ngwaci, night shade (managu), spider plant (sujaa), terere, mukimo, kunde and are heavily indulged in eating pizza, cheese, hot-dog and say traditional foods zinaboo. When Maasai drink blood from cattle, you act like you just witnessed Elijah’s bones coming back to life.
  8. You are obsessed with leaving the country, saying it doesn’t have resources and you desperately chase the American dream. Are you waiting for Luanda Magere to bring resources from the dead? Your biggest dream is to get a visa and leave your country forever; good riddance. We hope your dreams come true so you leave us in peace.
  9. You think starving yourself to death so you become skinny is sexy. You have bleached yourself and you paint yourself excessively with all cosmetics in the world. You wish you had money to do plastic surgery of the nose to elongate it. Wake up from western definitions of beauty.
  10. You dream of travelling around the world and you barely know that river in your village or nearer still, Mt. Kenya. Haven’t you heard of charity beginning at home?

Well, I don’t mean we should walk around in hides and skins, but let us be real. Let us not just ape blindly.

I am disgusted that we are a generation that is killing our identity and our children will lack one. Let us celebrate our culture. It is rich and beautiful! 

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