10 things a partner looks out for before taking the relationship to the next level

By Dayan Masinde | 5yrs ago | 4 min read

1. "How you handle correction"

Do you get offended when you are faulted? Are you easy to correct? Do you admit when wrong? A partner looking to see if you are a suitable life-partner will look at how you own up to responsibility, how easy you are to work with.

2. "How you handle 'NO'"

Relationships/ marriage is about compromise, not every day you will get everything going your way. Will you be OK to listen to your partner? To cede ground? Will you be OK if your partner says “No” to your option for good reasons? Will you take a difference of opinion as a threat or competition inside the relationship?… If your partner says “No” to your date when you request because of work will you be vexed? If your partner doesn’t pick up your phone call for legitimate reasons, will you be furious for no reason?

3. "How you handle failure"

Sometimes you will fail, sometimes your partner will fall. If it happens, will you give up on yourself? Will you give up on your partner? Are you easy to discourage? Do you only love when things are going smoothly?

4. "How you handle money"

Do you look like the type who will be changed when you get more money? Do you judge your partner based on how much he/ she earns? Or do you have a low self-esteem because your partner earns more? Will your partner have to constantly keep reminding you it’s OK if you have less than he/ she does?

5. "How you handle your temper"

Tempers will flare sometimes, the closer you get to each other the easier it is to step on each other’s nerves? What do you do when you are angry? Do you curse, insult, drown yourself in alcohol, do irrational things, threaten to quit the relationship?… or do you pray, calm down, seek the route of peace?… Do you avoid issues or are you the type to seek solutions? Everyone wants a partner easy to work and live with.

6. "How you handle tragic news"

Are you a comforter? Are you able to soothe your partner when your partner is in pain? Do you make your partner feel better? When someone close to your partner dies, do you help in mourning? Or do you expect your partner to comfort you but you fall short when your partner needs your support?… When things tragic happen, do you share with your partner or keep things to yourself? Do you only share the good things?

7. "How you handle secrets"

Are you trustworthy? Are you easy to talk with? Does your partner feel safe with you? Will you use the secrets your partner tells you as ammunition when you two fight? Can you keep the personal things in your relationship with the public? Are you a gossiper or easily swayed by rumors?

8. "How you handle your ex"

How do you talk about your ex? Does your ex still have an influence in your life? Do you have closure from your past or is there room your past will come to damage your future? Are you wrongly being suspicious of your partner because of the wrongs your ex did?

9. "How you handle yourself"

Do you have a low self-esteem? Are you a pessimist? Are you full of pride? Are you self-centered?… Or do you know yourself? Are you fun to be around? Do you find yourself attractive or do you depend on the opinion of others? How do you handle sex? What’s your view about sex? Are you the type who talks cheaply about sex, a flirt? Are you the type who finds sex to be a taboo? No one likes a boring sex partner who over thinks things. No one likes a loose partner.

10. "How you handle children"

A partner who is keen on a lasting relationship, marriage will pay attention to how you treat children or how you talk about children. For a man, he will look out for her motherly signs: how does she handle other people’s children and if she is a single mother, how does she handle her own child/ children? For a woman, she will look for a father figure: is the man mature enough to raise someone, does he have qualities of leading, or nurturing?

In my new book, MANHOOD SERIES, I show men how a man who marries a woman needs help and should allow his wife to help him in thought, being a better man, making decisions and pursuing a vision; otherwise, he would have remained single if he needs nobody.

In my other new book, WOMANHOOD SERIES, I caution women about the mentality that women are always right and men are always wrong and the ones to blame. I warn women about being Miss Independent in marriage, marriage is about interdependence. I beseech them not to resist growth.

To purchase the MANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word MAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.

To purchase the WOMANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word WOMAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.