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The dangers of over doing something good in your relationship
By Dayan Masinde | Updated Nov 21, 2017 at 11:17 EAT
A couple on a date
  • Advising your partner/spouse is a sign of love and interest, but don't overdo it 
  • Your sex life must be healthy, but don't reduce your love to merely about sex

1. "When you over apologize"

Saying sorry is OK. But when you keep apologizing over and over for the same thing yet your partner/spouse already forgave you; you two will be stuck on the same issue and fail to move on.

2. "When you over need"

It is wonderful to need your partner/spouse, to want him/her to be with you each time. But when you cling to your partner/spouse to the point that your partner/spouse has no space to grow as an individual, it is unhealthy and dangerous. Allow your partner/spouse room to also build relations with God, family, friends, clients, and to grow his/her vision.

3. "When you over post"

It is admirable to celebrate the love you have for your partner/spouse by posting photos and activities you two share online to the public. But don't overdo it. Keep some things private, just between you two.

4. "When you over PDA"

If you love your partner/spouse, do not be ashamed. Hold hands, kiss good bye, hold each other in public. But don't go over board that you make out and have sex in public making your partner/spouse embarrassed by revealing to on lookers such sacred moments of intimacy.

5. "When you over spend"

It's good to pamper your partner/spouse with gifts, money, good food and expensive trips but not at the expense of your future. Live within your means.

6. "When you over advise"

Advising your partner/spouse is a sign of love and interest. But don't overdo it to the point he/she feels you are forcing the advice and wanting to micro manage his/her life. Your partner/spouse is an adult. Speak your advice but don't dictate it.

7. "When you over think"

It is good not to hide issues and to think critically. But be careful not to over think that you become anxious, stressed, depressed and paranoid.

8. "When you over plan"

By all means plan your day, your year, your holiday, your future. But leave an allowance for change. Life has lots of surprises. Don't be rigid that you follow plans, sex, dates and experiences according to a set plan that you and your partner/spouse don't get to enjoy each other or have an adventure.

9. "When you over spiritualize"

It is good to have a relationship with God. God created you not only as a spiritual being but also an intellectual, emotional, social, physical and sexual being. Don't blame the devil for everything wrong, sometimes things go wrong because of your poor choices or irresponsibility.

10. "When you over talk"

Converse with your spouse. But do not dominate the conversations. Sometimes keep quiet and listen to your spouse.

11. "When you over dress"

Dear conservative lady, it is admirable that you dress decently and you cover your body in public. But when with your spouse in the bedroom, wear less, seduce him with your body and nudity. Strip.

12. "When you over sexualize"

Your sex life must be healthy. But don't reduce your love to merely about sex to the point that if sex was to be removed out of your love, your love will have no depth or substance. There is more to your partner/spouse than sex.

© Dayan Masinde and Akello Oliech



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