first year's guide to making friends in campus

The elections are done and as the expected ensuing drama continues, life must go on. September is fast approaching and the next big thing on the education calendar is the intakes in many universities across the country for both self-sponsored and JAB students, as the application processes go on.

As a first year student, you may have been in boarding school in high school, so you have an idea about living away from home. As you will find out campus is very different. In high school you were still a child and you were under the supervision of matrons, school prefects and at least half a dozen other school staff. Now you are an adult, and you are (mostly) on you own. There are many things to stress you as you navigate the jungle that is a Kenyan university campus.

One major issue is, making friends. You are going away, to campus and most of you will know no one there. This is thrilling and intimidating at the same time. It is thrilling because it gives you the chance to meet new people and form new experiences. It is intimidating because you have no best friend, casual acquaintance or familiar face to make you feel welcome or to help you adjust.

It then becomes tempting to, keep on texting your high school friend, cousin or neighbor, but you need to get out there to meet some new friends. This can be a painful and hard experience, especially if you are shy. You however can, turn those strangers into good friends.

Relax and don’t stress yourself about it too much, as you are not the only one going through the same fears of not making friends in a new environment. Think about it this way, most people don’t want to spend the next four years alone. Here are some easy ways to make friends in campus.

1. Attend orientation activities

Most campuses have orientations for first years. Some students dismiss orientation programs as being a waste of time. Don’t dismiss them. They help show you important things that will make your first week of school so much easier and make your transition into campus life smoother. There will also be other nervous freshas looking to make friends. You will not be the only person looking confused and who has no idea where any of the classrooms are. If you attend the orientation, which are often arranged according to faculties, you will meet some of your future classmates, and you can help make each other’s experiences easier.

2. Join campus clubs

In clubs you will find, people who have similar interests and strengths as you. You can use your common interests to strike up conversations and get to learn more about the students in the club. After a couple of sessions of doing that; you can normally decide who would be fun to hang out with outside of the club and thus who would make a good friend.

Take this seriously as well because, who knows. You might find people to mentor you in your future career path. You also stand an opportunity to network with people in your industry as well as learn new skills that will make you grow stronger as a future professional, or take you down a different path towards future happiness and success. Your first job opportunity could come from here, so pay attention, people.

3. Join a study group

Study groups primarily are meant for studying. This however doesn’t mean your group mates are strictly for studying. In the process of completing the assignments, you might find you want to hang out with some of them outside of group assignments. If you form a group with friends or you find yourself becoming friendly with your group mates, remember not to socialize during group work because some people won’t appreciate that and anyway before anything else you came to campus to study. Simply put there is time for everything. There is time for fun and there is time to work. Make sure neither side suffers at the expense of the other.

4. Social media is a connector

As you have heard before, social media is a powerful tool. Try and use it wisely. It is very tempting to tweet complaints about how bad the loo is or how cold the hostel shower is but try to use social media to find some new friends on campus. Search Facebook and you are likely to find many groups in your campus, join them and follow the events they post online. If there are some you can attend, go ahead. Talk to some of the students attending, online so that when you meet them, it is less awkward, and you feel like you are under less pressure. This will help you relax, and you will feel able to mingle and make friends.

5. Befriend your room mates

Unless you are lucky and you get (or can afford) a two sharing room in the hostels, the average, hostel in the Kenyan university is four sharing. If you are lucky you will get three mature, sober minded roommates, that you can live with, without the hostel room feeling like North Korea is about to nuke someone. People have different personalities and interests but hopefully you will have some interests in common with at least one of your roommates. You should however be careful and avoid sticking onto them as your only friend. You don’t want to be the creepy Siamese twin roomies who are joined to the hip 24/7. Campus is a jungle, and that’s how rumors start. Use your roomie, as your networker, someone who connects you to other people you can make friends with. Your roomie, can accompany you to some events so you don’t feel lonely, then you can go around and make other friends.

6. Have a block event

You will find yourself living with many strangers in a large block or floor with you. If no get togethers are organized in your block or floor, make your own. It doesn’t have to be anything big. It could be as simple as posting a sign in the notice board inviting people for a small event or inviting the students from the next room to watch the latest episode of a trending series. Campus life is hard. As long as there is food and drink, people will take up any excuse they can to blow off steam, and momentarily forget that lecturer who dishes out projects like projects are about to be banned.

7. Chat to your desk mate

Many campuses have large class sizes. Every weekday, you walk into a room, with at least 80 people. Instead of scrolling your twitter feed or plugging into your ear phones, try and talk with the person next to you. Yes there are sometimes you are going through things in your personal life and you need to be in your own zone, but being online or on earphones every time you enter class is very antisocial. Start with something as simple as a smile or a greeting. If you need help, for example if it is a clarification on a project ask. Use these as ice breakers, to strike up a rapport and start a conversation.

8. Network widely

Some of the friends you will make while in university won’t necessarily be made in campus. You could meet them at your part time job, side-hustle or internship and you would like to build a friendship. Some of them could even be students at your neighboring campus that you met during an event. Keep your options open and cast your nets wide.

 

At the end of the day, be yourself. Desperation, like a bad smell can be smelt, from a distance. When you are desperate, people misuse you. Let no one make you do things you are not ready for or that go against your values, because you will suffer any consequences alone. Know your limits. Know, the red lines, you will not cross. They might call you whatever they want, but never be so desperate for any ones validation, to fit in. You will never please people, so live according to your own code.