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Campus boys; husband materials

UREPORT
By KEVIN OJIAMBO | July 15th 2017

There is this awesome writer I just discovered recently. She goes by the name Ivy Aseka (check out her work on The Standard newspaper), I’m not sure it is her real name or nom de plume. That’s beside the point. She wrote an article “The campus girl is not a wife." In the article, she went ahead and slammed hard on the campus girl, implying that they are too busy indulging in hedonism, debauchery, fornication, adultery and laziness to actually learn anything about being proper wives that our mothers are.

I might go ahead and say she is right, or she is hateful, or disloyal to her gender or her generalization of the campus girls is preposterous, or dispute everything but hell, what do I know about being a wife! Instead, I decide to take this time while the campus girls are still picking their dropped jaws from the floor carpeted with the hard reality and explain to you why the campus boys are a husband materials.

The campus boy has the spending habits locked. Notwithstanding the “what” he spends on, he has his priorities right and budgets down to the cents. Most of the campus boys are better than average cooks. This is because cooking is cheaper than buying already cooked food which further improved my point on their good management skills. Their food might not be up to the gourmet standard but it will be easily palatable with no risk of gastric distress. When I say cook I mean intricate delicacies such as spaghetti, fried beef, sukuma wiki, rice, cabbage not noodles and soya meat. This means they can help the wife cook. I ask you ladies who would not want a culinary expert for a husband. Maybe culinary is an exaggeration but we can let it slide. No!

They adapt to the existing economic situation effortlessly. A good example, when the sugar prices hiked sinfully the campus boys do not trouble anyone for a rise in pocket money. No, they simply rolled with the punches and categorized breakfast under the luxuries docket with the likes of Hennessey, Ciroc and Moet. When it comes to beverages, alcoholic in nature or not. They do not partake expensive nor cheap. They drink the average ones which is unimpressive but they do not give a hoot as long as they stay solvent till the next pay check or M-Pesa beep. One problem though, when there is considerable surplus the campus boy will throw a party and floss so hard you’ll think he has received dividends from a government bond. Which is a good quality of a husband, sometimes. When possible the wife might need the shiny staff, he is just getting himself used to spending hard for when that time beckons.

The campus boys are no strangers to libraries and course books, this is because that one female that gets his heart beating in a funny way might need help in the exam room and what better way to get on her good side than to help her avoid a supplementary exam. Yeah. You can add wise to the resume of a campus boy because you have to agree, that’s is kinda smart.

Playing with the law of supply and demand to get her to notice you. She needs answers you provide answers, at no price. The problem will come when you all fail, she will set your plans back ages and probably kill your sexual life since she’ll tell everyone.

Campus boys have a healthy ego, they know how low to stoop before it becomes desperate. Most of them have savings account and have started planning for their futures. They have ensured their lifestyles are in tune with their incomes. They are master sailors and can adjust their sails to align with the winds, this is one quality that will make them the greatest husbands since they have already learnt the art of picking battles. Their sexual prowess are unmatched. I’m not encouraging how they get the expertise but come on ladies, you do not want a husband who is learning at the job. Yo want a salty sailor, and that comes at a price. He has to sail through different conditions to get there.

Ultimately, the campus boy leaves the university for years baptized with the fire of day to day life. Forged under the pressure of hardship to the arcane husband material that is required by the society. There might be a few things that might need nipping along the way like ogling, hanging out with his boys

But you will have to understand him. A man needs his vices. To all the campus girls, in fact to all the ladies out there find yourself a campus boy and make of him a husband. It will be easier compared to picking a villagers and starting from scratch teaching him that wearing a vest inside a t-shirt makes him look like a cassava farmer, husband helping out in the kitchen will not lead to Armageddon or DJ afro movies are not as funny as they think.

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