Sex does not expire; teenagers should be patient

The other day I was in shags and trust me, you don’t want to feel how I felt there. I had not gone there ati to attend a relative’s burial, or for a fundraiser, or to inspect and lay the foundation of my new house. I’m told Nairobians only travel home in cases of the above instances.

Mine wasn’t any of the three cases though, I went there over reasons that can trigger a 21-year-old travel to shags. Like, to connect with childhood friends.  Ok, so I set foot in shags and the next day, I decide to walk around. If you have watched Nigerian Kingship movies then you must have seen the way the Prince walks around the village when he comes back home, possibly after completing his studies abroad.

So yes, I meet old mamas, young but big boys with big chests and giant arms. Also, I encounter several young girls with babies wrapped on their backs. The latter sinks my heart, girls who are supposed to be busy pursuing their dreams and goals in primary or in secondary schools are already nursing babies – their own babies!

 I give my cousin an empty confused gaze, he looks down and tells me “huku ni hivyo tu” He means here every girl is either having a kid or expecting one in less than eight months. I shake my head and deep inside me, a voice asks God, “God, where did we go wrong?” Anyway, we march on. I instruct this cousin of mine to take me to Brenda’s place. He does. We find Brenda sitting under a tree, peeling off the coverings of cassava. Beside her are four kids that so much resemble her. And when she stands to welcome us, I realize her stomach is swollen again. A clear indication that the world is expecting a new visitor from her in a few weeks’ time.

Brenda was a very brilliant girl back in primary. She always featured in the top three in exams and tests in school. While I was made the prefect, she was always the class monitor. However, in class eight first term, some guy hoodwinked her into sex and impregnated her. She dropped out of school and never recommenced. Later, she moved in with that guy. I’m sorry to mention that Brenda now looks older than her mother.

Her husband is a mtu wa mkono. He has no expertise in anything, so he does whatever can earn him pennies to sustain the family. I later inquired about our other primary classmates and the story is all the same. Almost all the girls are now married to struggling husbands – they can hardly afford the daily three square meal. They have no future to count on. All they think of is giving birth, eating and sleeping.

 Sincerely speaking, I sobbed. I cried for our generation. Girls who in my view, are not even supposed to know the spelling of the word sex, already have babies! What should we do, anyone? Just sit and watch our kids give birth to other kids? Scrap canning and punishment in schools? No? Ok, why shouldn’t we talk to our boys and girls then? Why shouldn’t we tell them that sex and marriage never expire? Why don’t we coerce them to first chase their dreams – an education? Why? Why shouldn’t we tell them that when abstinence fails then they should use protection?