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A prayer for the murderers of fashion
By Ciru Ngigi | Updated Mar 14, 2016 at 08:23 EAT

Let us pray. Haya, tufunge macho pris.

Lord Jesus I am really struggling to believe that this too is Your child. It is equally difficult to believe that labour pains were spent on this one. He has assaulted my eyes and forgiving him is an uphill endeavour. I pray this day, that You will shield us from Kanye West and all his influences. This Yeezus wear without the oversize homeless man's T-shirt is the reason galaxies full of Your splendour and glory refuse to talk to us. Entire galaxies.

May we be loosed from every bondage Kanye and his nudist wife have placed us in. May every stronghold be brought down in Jesus' Name and may we have our brains back pris. Restore us to default factory settings sweet Jesus. Pre-Kanye days if you like. Pre-Weed days too.

Also, because he has assaulted us with such horrid fashion, may this man's roof leak in multiple places for the rest of his existence. May there always be an itch inside his nose that he can't quite get to. May his ear leak wax in public forever. I pray that for this grave crime against our eyes, he will never have a full night's rest. May there be a strange burn on his inner thigh and may his central heating never get the temperature just right. Most of all, may his car's air-conditioning break down every summer without fail!

In Jesus' Name,

Amen!


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