Don't be cheated bro, your wife is not your relative

You may meet a beautiful woman, marry her, have children and build a home with her. She may become your best friend, your confidant, your business partner. You may even refer to her as your prayer partner as married couples fondly refer to each other. But never forget that the bond that ties you two lies in a ring and promises that may rust with time and change of heart.

Your spouse, unfortunately, is not your blood relative and their love can turn to hate overnight.

Listen to me then dear brother.

In your moments of passion, forget not the sibling who shared a mat with you on cold earthen floors nor the hands that met with yours in a bowl of thin soup that mama had made from cow bones discarded by the butcher.

At the pinnacle of your success remember the brother who stood up for you when you weren’t too strong to wade the bullies away and the sister who cleaned after you when you were too sick to get to the latrine.

Remember too the one who told on you when the water was too cold for your back and you surreptitiously settled on washing your face, arms and legs for they too saved you from poor skin that could have dimmed your chances of a fairer mate.

Do not lock their children out when they come to your gate with dusty feet and tattered clothes seeking your help.

“Uncle, I have been sent home from school for lack of fees.”

Do not twist your nose upwards when they do not smell as fresh or turn a deaf ear to their rumbling stomachs. Do not look at them with disdain or mock their heavy accents.

Instead welcome them with open arms and open your doors for them. Let them eat at the table with you and treat them as you would treat your own progeny.

For it is in such children, it is from the loins of your brother and the womb of your sister that hope can visit you in your old age.

One of them will remember that you were there when you did not have to, that you helped when you were not obliged to, that you asked after them and showed true concern when they were nobody.

The future, like the weather, can be very unpredictable; tempest can range without warning and you may find yourself like the biblical Ayub:

ALONE. NAKED.

In an island of depression.

And your sister who has never forgotten how to clean up sick will gather you, like a helpless child, and care for you selflessly. Your brother hardened with lack of life’s privileges will still share the thin soup that his wife has learned to make.

Your siblings and their offspring will hold your hand in your most desperate moments.

Because bonds soldered in the womb can be severed by the winds of time, but they never quite break.

 

— www.facebook.com/elvinah.obuya