A sickly prisons community

By JOHN GEREZANI

Health is known to take a huge chunk of the budget yet nobody seems to have given thought on the need to use the common sense approach to minimise expenditure.

That the global trend is now more focussed on preventive as opposed to curative interventions in the health sector seems not to have registered in the psyche of the dudes calling the shots.

HIV, typhoid, ulcers and associated stomach disorders as well as skin ailments are the more pronounced ailments that afflict netizens at any given time.

And now the big "C" has made a grand entry into the mix with a growing number of netizens being diagnosed with cancer, mainly in its metastatic phase.

This is a grave matter that demands instant solutions. Instead of crying foul over spilt milk, let’s look at conspiracy theories doing the rounds as to the probable cause(s) of this sad state of affairs.

Not once have I stated here that many are the times that we have been fed with unga of questionable quality. This kasumba peaks anytime there is an announcement in the media of discovery of aflatoxin-laced maize somewhere in the country.

Orders are made for the public destruction of such rejects but it seems that some sly and greedy suppliers working in cahoots with ration store managers connive to always ensure that netizens consume the stuff.

The source of the dark coloured, foul smelling bitter tasting ugali that netizens in Naivasha, Kodiaga, Manyani and to a lesser extent King’ong’o are periodically served must be established and those culpable be made to answer.

Remonstrations by netizens to the ineffective and seemingly compromised resident Public Health Officers hardly ever yields the desired results. Should they threaten hunger strike, a few sacks of kosher maize is brought in for blending and kazi inaendelea.

Could Izzo introduce stringent quality control measures on the food we eat before we invoke the relevant constitutional provisions that give us an inherent right to wholesome food?

While at it, it would be wise to ask why none of the nutritionists employed by the department are placed where their skills are needed.

Rusty utensils

Come to think of it. Food is supposed to be prepared in and served from stainless steel or rust free implements and not these rusty metal drums used in practically all netis. Could someone be endangering netizens lives by diverting chwaa meant for buying the required sufurias?

What a shame that we ingest rust as a staple on a daily basis.

HIV is growing at an alarming rate and it boils down to homosexuality, which has moved from being the means to an end that it once was to a powerful economic tool which a select cabal has formatted into a service industry in many netis worldwide.

The call by Mugabe’s Minister of Health that netizens there be supplied with sex toys and service rooms kumaliza haja was a step in the right direction even if l cannot countenance making it out with a lifeless inflatable galfie. I want the real thing.....umesikia Izzo?

Let’s get real here and stop burying our heads in the sand. Wiper and Izzo must agree that there is no law, not even the neti Act Cap 90 that expressly forbids me from having quality time with my mresh. If anything, they must agree with me that denying us conjugal visits is costing the department more in terms of the resources being diverted to care for the needs of those living with Aids in neti.

Constructing us service bays to sort our girls out would not cost a limb though l pity the smarters who would be assigned to keep guard as we chapa acrobatics with gusto. And to our chirpy and dry skins, is it not disingenuous for Vaseline to be a banned substance in the guise that it would be used for shagging yet l have credible reports of condoms and manuals on safe sex being supplied in some netis. What worries me is that the increase in homosexuality has seen a related increase in drug use and internecine wars amongst the mendes (studs) and watoto (sluts) as they chart territories.

Major issue

Homosexuality in neti is now a major security issue and a visit to any neti dispensary will bear me out that practically all assaults, food poisoning and death attempts are invariably linked to the clique.

Psssss........as with the "Nyeri syndrome", the hubbys here are the ones thwacked senseless by the watoto so next time you visit your relative in neti and find him nursing an injury...