Bungoma's special wheelbarrow set to revolutionise abattoirs

I hear there has been quite a storm over the decision by the Bungoma County to purchase 10 wheelbarrows at the pricey rate of some Sh108,000 per piece.

The farm equipment is for use in local abattoirs, and are built to the highest possible standards.

For starters, they are made of stainless steel that does not contain an iota of contaminants that could trigger carcinogens – that is cancer-causing agents – according to Bungoma governor Ken Lusaka.

Initially, I thought the wheelbarrows were imported from Europe, but I was quite pleased to find they were locally assembled, no doubt because the governor believes in the Build Kenya, Buy Kenya rhetoric.

Still, I suspected that the county government wasn’t able to articulate its decision very eloquently, and that stainless steel wheelbarrows must have a special edge to justify its pricing.

So you can imagine my sheer delight when my online research unearthed startling findings about stainless steel wheelbarrows.

First off, they come with a free knife-sharp wheel, with spokes that can clean offal at the turn of the handlebar.

Another understated property about stainless steel is that it can peel away animal skin if heated to over 100 degrees, which is a standard procedure whenever new carcass is prepared.

In another words, the special barrow replaces meat cleavers and sharp knives, not to mention the many man-hours spent in slitting throats and skinning carcasses. Yet another advantage is that the stainless steel is flappable, so that the wheelbarrow will be able to assess the load it is carrying and adjust accordingly.

And when several goats are being slaughtered, all the abattoir attendant needs to do is line up the animals with their feet tethered, run the knife-sharp wheel over the animals’ throats and they will be slit without a whimper.