Take charge; duck the path trodden path

By Njoki Karuoya

It is amazing how young women fear pregnancies more than HIV or any other sexually transmitted infection (STI).

I guess, in their minds, they see STIs as diseases that can be treated with medication and that’s the end of it, while a pregnancy produces a long-term fruit.

Thus, you will find these young women in high schools, campuses and colleges doing whatever it takes to have and eat their cake, without checking on the consequences of their actions. In other words, they will engage in sex as often as they desire (or as often as the boyfriend wants to even as she is not interested, but she does it to keep him by her side) then pop the emergency pill to stop the pregnancy from occurring. This is what is referred to as irresponsibility.

When a young woman is afraid to make a stand about the direction of her life and express her intentions to her boyfriend, then she is suffering from a major dose of inferiority complex. Sadly, many girls and women suffer from this sad fate.

Inferiority complex

So, instead of planning their sexual activities, they are like the wind, blowing whichever way the air blows, then they still have the audacity to judge other girls and women, when the log is so large in their eyes they can hardly see their bodies.

What I always find laughable is when a girl engages in unprotected sex then is shocked (ha ha ha) when her periods miss a month, and a pregnancy is consequently confirmed.

Another laughable moment for me is when the boy denies the pregnancy, or refuses to take responsibility for it (ha ha ha). That is his prerogative (unless you can get his parents to force him to take responsibility), but guys don’t get pregnant so they don’t feel the guilt or burden of carrying the pregnancy to term, or of taking care of the baby, especially in the initial stages (the first three years) when it is back-breaking work. But some will check back in when the child is older and when most of the hard work is done and claim to want to be involved in the child’s life, even taking the mother to court for that right. And you can imagine the bitterness the mother would feel after taking care of the child, alone, for so many years.

Learning experiences

There are many women out there carrying a passionate dislike for men because they were ‘cheated’ by one of their species. And guess who between the woman and the man is suffering most from psychological, emotional and even physical complications — like high blood pressure, ulcers, dysfunctional relationships with men in general and specifically their children, and so forth. You got it; it’s the woman.

So women need to plan their lives. They must stop relying on others to improve or complete their lives. The most common reason why girls, especially those in high schools, campus and college, engage in unprotected sex with their boyfriends is because they are afraid — of them leaving them; as if their departure would end their lives — although this is what most believe at that time, only to discover that they continue to live on long after the guy has dumped them for someone else.

If you were a victim of this negative perception of self, then grow up now and take charge of your life. Mistakes are great learning experiences; only if you learn from them and move on to brighter paths. Mistakes can be debilitating if you choose to wallow in self-pity for the rest of your life and refuse to move on. So embrace your mistake, learn from it and move on, wiser this time.

If you haven’t been a victim yet, then stop and take stock of your life and your future potential to prevent from falling on this trodden path. Take charge of your life and stop expecting others to take responsibility for your actions, and for your life. That is your responsibility.