When to Introduce her

Man up with Simon

Dude, I know you are just as excited about the December holidays as I am. The take-it-easy, let-it-loose holiday mood will come in handy in softening Stella’s heart — you know whom I’m talking about; that girl in whose eyes you drown. Darn, that girl — Stella, the wild tiger you want to tame; not for anything serious, just for the excitement, the thrill of the chase.

?But Stella is not the girl I want to talk about today. Let’s talk about Rachael. Rachael is already eating from the palm of your hand. You have been at it for some time now with her and something tells you she is the one. With the long holidays coming up, you will be spending a lot of time with her. It is going to be really tight pulling this one off without raising some eyebrows, particularly your mum’s. You have also been toying with the idea of introducing her to your mum who has been giving you that funny look lately. You don’t know if the time is right, whether they will get along among many other uncertainties, but one thing is for sure: It feels right with her.

So when is the right time?

Well, you can bet on one thing about the grand face-off: It will come. However, you should stop killing yourself wondering when the right time is because — this may surprise you — there is no right time. When it comes to this issue, it is not the ‘time’ but the ‘how’ that counts. If you get the ‘how’ right, they may be the ones introducing each other to you.

To get it right, you need to understand your mum’s thoughts and expectations about whom you should date. Every mum wants a good girl for her son. Apparently, according to her, a good girl is a representation of what she sees in the mirror every morning — herself. Now, this lady does not exist and this is where the problem is. This is also where the ‘how’ comes in handy.

?The winning cards

?Build the suspense: Mothers don’t take surprises too well when it comes to their sons. You need to keep her guessing and you can only do this by bringing home three to four girls (Rachael included) when she is there. One of them should be one of those ‘black sheep’ girls in the neighbourhood. Observe her reaction and subject her to some cheeky interrogations after she meets them. She will try to get information from you, but you say they are all just friends. With this, you will get to see which one she likes and which ones she blacklists, then take this to the next level.

Dealing with her verdict: Out of all the girls, some will be totally blacklisted, especially the black sheep — as expected. They may have doors slammed up their faces or get hung up on. The next step is to appear to like the one she detests the most. Where am I going with this? The point is to get her to hate this girl even more. Her motherly instinct will lead her to try and ‘save you’ from that bad girl she cannot stand and she will start looking for nice things about the other girls. She will then embark on a mission to talk you into liking and taking any of the other girls. Look who is talking you into Rachael. By this time, you will have turned the tables against her.

?Take her advice: We all know that mothers are always right. After a long struggle and after she convinces you beyond any reasonable doubt about Rachael, take her advice. There is not a happier mum in this world than one whose son is dating a girl she picked out for her son — and there we have it — a win-win situation. It’s only a matter of time before they start doing the dishes together, maybe even going out. They may even make you feel like the stranger in this relationship.