Help: She won't leave me alone

I am 20 years old and waiting to join college. There is this girl in Form One who is making me very uncomfortable. She says she is in love with me, loves everything I do and wants a relationship with me.

I have clearly told her that I am not interested, but she is crazy. She got my number and just won’t stop bothering me. I have warned her severally, including sending my friends to her, but to no avail. She tells them it doesn’t matter if I have another girl or not as she is in love with me and that I should not dare to break her heart. I am stuck and need advice on how to get rid of her.

{Cecil}

Your say

Cecil, don’t worry. This is the type of girl who feels like she’s in love, but the truth is that she may only admire your features or money, if you have some — many girls are after money. Meet her somewhere and talk to her. Promise that you can be her boyfriend when she is done with high school, if she will still be interested.  Outrightly ejecting her might affect her studies. {Mural Nyangaga, Kisumu}

By sending friends to try and stop her, you are confirming some interest in her. How do you reason with a small girl? Stop the communication and let the relationship end naturally because she is a minor. {Aseri W Dickson, Kakamega}

Cecil, it’s not a bad thing that someone is in love with you, but it is important for the feeling to be mutual. The only mistake here is that she has got your phone number, so she keeps bothering you. Advise her to focus on her education. {Alex Obutu, Kisii University}

This girl is a minor and since you have already stated clearly to her that you are not interested, the best thing to do now is to send an older person to report her to her parents. This way, you will clear your name and you will also have helped her. {Eric Achong’a, Busia}

It’s your life and you are free to do whatever you want. The fact that she is in Form One and you are about to join college should not stop you from hearing her out. Talk to her instead of sending people. {Ochaly Edwine, Mombasa}

The counselor’s say

Cecil, you are a lucky dude. You are struggling to do away with a girl who is dying for your love while most guys walk through fire, risk their lives walking under the cover of darkness, buy diamonds and do many other things just to get a girl to say yes to them. However, while many people think the predicament you are in is awesome, it is actually very unpleasant.

 The first thing to do is to check if there are some things you could have said or done to make her believe that you are interested in her. If there is something you are doing to make her believe so, then you need to stop. Most importantly, this girl is underage. This can get you into a lot of trouble, including putting you in jail.

How do you avoid a desperate underage girl? The most important thing about this situation is to stop fighting. Warning her or sending your friends to tell her to stop bothering you is indeed fighting. When you fight, the world fights back and this is exactly what she is doing.

Just go silent on her. Block her phone number from coming through to you — most phones have this capability with some even baring text messages from coming through. Avoid any form of contact with her and do not respond to anything she says. It is not necessary for you to involve anybody else in this matter. You are capable of handling it because the biggest part of handling it involves doing nothing.