Sadness has a role to play

By Terry

Happy (adjective): feeling or showing pleasure or contentment.

Not a bad definition. But the one that makes me happier is this: Happiness is overrated.

Yes, it is not really a definition, but I believe it makes a good point. And no, I am not an advocate for the spreading of misery. But I do think the harping on about what can cause ‘feeling or showing pleasure or contentment’ is depressing.

These days, wherever you turn, there is someone with an opinion on how you can get out of your ‘ordinary unhappiness’.

Marketers are constantly trying to show us that we are desperately despondent if we are not quaffing/applying/wearing/ransoming our souls to buy their products. I say a packet of high-sugar, zero-nutrient snacks can barely keep my hunger at bay for an hour, leave alone forestall gloom for a lifetime.

And then there are all those ‘happiness gurus’, be they New Age theorists, pastors or motivational speakers. They hold talks about this elusive euphoria, demand ‘seeds’ in exchange for it, and come up with exercises to attain it.

Don’t even get me started on all those books that promise to help us negotiate the dreary Sorrow Desert and cross River Grief into the land flowing with jubilation and sweet optimism.

Like I mentioned in my disclaimer, it’s not that I think happiness is a bad thing. I just believe that sorrow serves a purpose, too, because how would we know to treasure the good times if we didn’t know what bad times were? And there are other things I would like to be, besides ‘happy’, like ‘wise’. Unfortunately, wisdom is rarely encased in laughter.

So, perhaps we should learn to be content with what we have here and now, instead of chasing a mythical euphoria. Anyone who lives in a constantly exhilarated state is high on something, if you ask me, and they have their head in the clouds.

If someone has really perfected the recipe for happiness and put it in a box or book, why would other people be constantly coming up with new products that promise the same thing?

As writer and professor Eric Wilson says: “The road to hell is paved with happy plans.”

Like Anne Mukei and Anne Eboi point out on Page 3, we all have different opportunities to be glad or sad. And we should live them, and move on to the next experience. We shouldn’t expect someone or something to be our panacea for the mixed bag that is life.