Understanding a cop’s sixth sense

By Ted Malanda

People who drive old cars know this only too well. The moment their jalopies see a cop, they kind of just sputter to a halt.

The darned thing will have been rattling along smoothly but the second it sees the boys in blue, it gets so terrified that it dies of engine failure. It’s a given that even before the cop starts swaggering towards you while menacingly palming his swagger stick, he will have noticed six traffic transgressions to slap you with.

It’s the same with an Identity Card. When I was a teenager, my life was a virtual hell since my nocturnal escapades were conducted in terror of police who demanded this all-too-important document that I had not acquired.

Curiously, their queries stopped the moment I gave a drunken clerk Sh20 in Kakamega and acquired it. It’s as if they instinctively knew that I had it.

In my adult life, it never ceases to amaze me that whenever I drive without a licence, traffic cops always flag me down, ditto when my car has one fault or other.

But when the bird is in good shape and my paperwork is perfect, they don’t show the least interest in me even when I take it upon myself to stop without being flagged down.

But the people whose sixth sense I respect most are city council askaris. These brothers have an uncanny ability of knowing just when a back lane is filled with illegally parked cars.

If Philip Kisia ever wonders why his coffers are empty, it’s because only a fraction of the drivers whose cars are towed get to pay the stipulated fines.

Thankfully, theirs is an act of mercy, not corruption. They understand that we live in tough economic times and a Sh6,000 fine is simply too much for harassed citizens.