Of fancy dollies and prodding lads

By Linda Musita

When choosing my undergraduate course of study, I fortunately selected a good course. Unfortunately I chose a course that would require four years of undergraduate studies and an extra one and a half years for a postgraduate diploma. Everything is okay four and a half years later. I still attend lectures, read avidly and gossip with my friends.

The only thing worth gossiping about at the university was who was cohabiting with whom. I thought that the lads involved in playing house or ‘kalongo’ got more out of it than their hapless lassies. The lads had their laundry done, their meals cooked, their backs scratched and scrubbed and their raging hormones pacified. When asked why they would allow someone’s daughter, who was sent to school to acquire a degree in law cater to their whims, they would say that women have the ability to multi-task and the girls rarely complained anyway. These days, the tales of who lives with who is old news.

In postgraduate school, things have changed. Some of the lassies who used to cohabit discovered goldmines. They moved out of their make-believe happy homes with the school lads. Their new homes are expensively furnished, by new mysterious wealthy boyfriends who cannot be spoken of in the infamous girl talks. Unless the girl talks are with other girls who have similar mystery men. The wardrobe also changed. In campus we all wore jeans, T-shirts and wasted jumpers.

Drab clothes

Now we have the fancy dollies with fancy clothes and the scruffy dollies with drab clothes and bad hair. The fancies wear clothes that cost more than my monthly allowance and their shoes make me want to cast a two-minute Harry Porter stupefy spell on them.

They come to school in flashy Benz’s driven by old papas. They say that the old papas are drivers who work for their wealthy ‘young’ boyfriends or they are their paternal or maternal uncles who out of their good hearts offer to pick them up from their houses early in the morning and take them to school. One has gone one step ahead of her ‘peers’. She is driving a Vitz look alike. Blue in colour. She says she got it from the firm she interned with for three months as a farewell gift. Really? Of course the rest of us know what is going on. Some of them are wrecking our own homes because our daddies no longer like our mummies. They have found better and younger options. Another fancy dolly just got back from London.

Meanwhile, the rest of us have to deal with the postgraduate lads who want to hit us and run. You will find a lad who never noticed you before paying you a lot of attention. First he will make sure that you are good friends within a week. Then he will invite himself to your place. The first visit will be very civil. During the next visit he’ll tell you that he really likes you.

Undying love

An intelligent lass will kick him out immediately he declares his instant undying love. Unfortunately, some of us are still naÔve and altogether stupid. So, the second visit will involve a conversation that would lead to certain relations that were not planned for by the lass. After the relations he’ll move on. The hunt is still on and very soon the lion will not be around to feast on the antelopes. So he’d best maximise so that when he moves to the next jungle he does not regret not devouring all the antelopes in the present jungle!