Wedding misfortunes from hell

The mention of this three wordphrase sends a cold chill down Vicky Mummo’s* spine as she recounts how at exactly 4pm on the eve of their wedding, they were served with a court order. It sought to temporarily postpone or permanently stop the wedding until a case filed by her husband’s former lover, with whom they have a child, was heard and determined.

According to the other woman, Michael* had carried out all the required customary practices including payment of dowry to her family and as such, he was her lawful husband.

Through emissaries and amid thick tension, she accepted to meet them at 9.30pm citing ‘other pressing commitments’. After long deliberations she agreed to withdraw the case and for the ceremony to proceed. However, Michael had to sign an agreement committing to make a cash payment of Sh150,000 by 9am the following day and a monthly payment of Sh25,000 for child support. She also demanded that she be allowed to attend the wedding ceremony.

2. Embarrassing Slip of Tongue

Their misfortune did not end there. The presiding priest made an embarrassing slip of tongue during the exchange of vows when he subconsciously mentioned the other woman’s name, which bore close resemblance to Vicky’s name. He apologised quickly and finalised the ceremony to everyone’s relief.

3: Mystery of the Missing Rings

The pageboy at John and Purity Muriuki’s wedding walked down the aisle in careful stride as he had rehearsed many times before. Later the bridal team found out that he had been carrying an empty box. To save the situation and avoid an embarrassing scenario, a suggestion was made to use the best couple’s set of rings, which the priest accepted, albeit with reservations.

Apparently, the two 18-carat gold rings worth Sh68,000 were stolen at the church entrance by a woman masquerading as an usher. This was not the first time rings have mysteriously disappeared on the material wedding day in this church.

4: Mediocre Service Providers

Weddings are all about service providers and as such, they can make or break your day.

Service providers also include your bridal team as Raphael* found out when on the day of his wedding, his best man arrived three hours late, sweaty and unkempt with eyes as red as ripe greenhouse tomatoes.

Disaster can also be caused by the caterer who serves food dry because, the stew poured, or the briefcase bakers who switch off their phones after failing to deliver the cake, or camera crews who show up late with two guys dangling cheap low-end photo and video cameras up their necks. They then treat the guests to an array of theatrics as they try to operate the equipment all at once.

In November last year, according to one couple, their guests were treated to a hot cake that had to be ordered in a hurry after it became clear that the service provider was not going to deliver the wedding cake.

In other instances, gifts have magically disappeared between the reception and storage and money intended for the wedding couple is redirected into people’s pockets and purses.

Entertainers have failed to do the only thing you hired them for by not connecting or relating well with the guests, fronting overused and tired or inappropriate jokes or sometimes the equipment fails.

Organisers of a wedding that took place in Lang’ata had to do without a public address system after the generator ran out of fuel and apparently the operators had forgotten the key to the fueling nozzle at home.