Almost 40 and still can't tell if I like him, what's that about?

 I’m sure I knew how to make up my mind all those years ago, but not any more! (Photo: iStock)

Hi Chris!

I’m single again at almost 40 and trying to date again. But I seem to have lost the ability to decide whether I really like the man I’m dating! Why’s it so difficult? I’m sure I knew how to make up my mind all those years ago, but not any more!

Do I Really?

Chris says, 

Hi, Do I Really?!

Actually, it is hard to know how you really feel about someone new. It seems like it should be easy, but social conventions like being polite and on our best behaviour, our raised expectations, and the excitement and anxieties of a date confuse the issue.

But if your conscious mind isn’t sure, your subconscious knows every time! Unfortunately, we have no access to our subconscious thoughts, but they leak out in the way you unconsciously behave towards him. So you can figure out what your subconscious thinks by watching your own body language!

Eye contact signals interest, so if you find yourself looking at his eyes just long enough for him to notice and then quickly looking away, then your subconscious is happy with him.

You’ll also automatically start to lean in closer. And unconsciously squeeze your breasts together with your upper arms to enhance your cleavage.

You’ll find yourself touching his arm, even if you’re not normally a touchy-feely sort of person. Any other part of his body, and your subconscious would definitely like to get to know him better. If that’s happening, then your dress will keep ‘slipping’ off your shoulder. You’ll find yourself involuntarily making a ‘tilted head sultry gaze’. Tossing or touching your hair. Glancing sideways at him over your bare shoulder.

Slightly pouting your lips or moistening them with the tip of your tongue are both subconscious come-ons. As is revealing the inside of your wrists, twining your legs or slowly crossing and uncrossing them. Gently kicking your crossed leg back and forth while dangling a shoe.

So watch yourself. And if you’re seeing some of these signs and having fun, then encourage him to ask you out for another date.

All the best,

Chris