OPINION: 'Marriage is not an achievement' is for those who can't keep one

The human species must propagate and the best place to raise the human species is the family (Photo: iStock)

I once found myself in the midst of a feminazi discussion where I was slapped with the phrase: " Marriage is not an achievement. When I rose in protest that they should not deceive young girls if their marriages don’t last, I was told that I would never get it.

I am not a woman. I equated it with men telling each other that provision is not necessary for men. Times have changed, the modern world has constrained the ability of men to provide, but it doesn’t take away the cardinal masculine responsibility.

The endangered African man in me knows that a man cannot address the council of men if he is single. It got me thinking about how the Catholic church missionaries fared in the colonial era. How did African chiefs perceive and receive celibate priests? Marriage is an achievement among Africans. Those who remained single, especially men, had their corpses desecrated before burial to prevent them from haunting their clans.

Here I was being lectured on how “marriage is not an achievement”. To add to it, this is an insider language for women. Men will never understand. I can probe, and so I went to seek some clarification. Apparently, girls in the African set-up are raised to aspire for marriage. This worked because the survival and propagation of the clan depended on women getting married and nurturing young clansmen. Yes, clansmen and women.

However, in the modern day, the empowered woman has learned that men are not raised to aspire for marriage. Which they believe works against women. They end up with men who do not hold marriage and family in high regard as them. That phrase is meant to rewire women’s minds.

They forget that men are also indoctrinated with protection and protecting from an early age. That is why men risk sending fare to women who never show up. They also fail to take note of the high number of women who are in marriages simply for the sake of their children. To add to this, they were wired never to share about the challenges they are going through. Meanwhile, the world believes it is only women who get the short end of the stick.

Talking of sticks, this is the main problem. Women just do not want to acknowledge that they cannot do without the stick of manhood. Apparently, women pick men they want to pair with and then let the man do the chase.

Have sex

I know all men who know the beautiful songbird Beyonce Knowles will not mind having a minute or two in the sun with her. Meanwhile, actor Terrence Howard turned down a chance to go out with Beyoncé.

Women sleep with whoever they want. When women are young and succulent, there are plenty, so they have the liberty to pick their choice from the crop of men. These men tend to come from all ages, from their father’s age mates to men a year or two their junior. On the flipside, this means that men will have sex with whoever can have sex with them. Ask men the women who facilitated the loss of their virginity and you may collapse in shock.

This biological discrimination is hardly ever discussed as a way young men get the crumbs of ladies in the romantic field. Then the cart flips and tables turn when it comes to marriage. When men want to settle down, they marry whom they want. Women marry whoever can marry them. This is the line where the modern woman has realised that marriage is not an achievement.

Women need men more than they want men. Women have the desire to be with a man who will be involved in providing for their children. That is where a man’s presence is more than companionship.

On the flipside, men want and desire women more than they need them. The reason why men overestimate their body counts while women understate their sexual escapades. This makes men easily dispense with partners, while women will fight to keep a man. This will even involve providing in this age, where provision doesn’t define a man.

Sex is abundant for women but men have to earn it, sometimes by lies. If you are a truthful man, you may die single.

So women must prove their worth by minimising their acquisition of that privilege. Men have an abundance of commitment, especially if he has built their value around status and resources. These men will peddle this value around to get access to more sex.

This is where whoever wrote the book about men and women coming from different planets is a revolutionary.

The game is controlled by factors well out of our reach. Some men actually came from Pluto, so it doesn’t matter if marriage is an achievement or not. Let the men from earth who value and cherish marriage make it an achievement for their wives.

In this age, when divorce is on the rise and marriage is more of a partnership than a matrimony, marriage is indeed an achievement. Women must learn to separate the dogs from wild dogs.

The human species must propagate, and the best place to raise the human species is the family.

Marriage is an achievement.