Love isn't enough: Power of assimilation in marriage

Love isn’t enough: Power of assimilation in marriage

I disliked the brown ugali made from sorghum flour. It reminded me of past traumas and historical economic injustices. As our financial situation worsened, my father had to go to the village, and soon he could no longer afford maize flour. Brown ugali thus became a reminder of the lean season. When I got married, I discovered that it was my wife’s favourite food.

One day, when I went to the village, I overheard my mother planning to buy maize flour for my ugali. I told her not to worry — I would eat whatever she cooked. My father asked me when I had started eating brown ugali. I told him that love is powerful. I had struggled with it, but ultimately gave in to what my wife loved in the name of healthy eating. That is assimilation in marriage.