By T. Mochama (posing as Ali Kiba)
The past
Five years ago, one Mr Nice, bongo musician, took Tanzania, then East Africa, and finally the continent by storm. His songs not only ruled the airwaves; they were there like oxygen. This astrologer can still remember the song "Kila Mtu na Dame Wake," and dancing to the opening lines "woiii, woii, woii – oooo" at K2, Kenya Nights. Mr Nice’s music appealed to everyone between six and 90, and brought this talented Tanzanian performer and bongo genius both fame and fortune.
It is when he went down south to South Africa that his fortunes began to go down south too. Provided a mansion by a recording house and still lush with cash from his myriad of performances, Mr Nice forgot to make music and instead got into making out with all the nice girls those sides, and clubbing every night. Soon he had turned his house to a harem … and was helping out every hoe-in-the-club with their many ‘mashidas’. After all, he was a millionaire, millionaire not he?
The present
Hapa na pale umaliza kibaba, and slow but sure, Mac Muga (Mr Nice’s) mega rand dwindled from a flood of cash to a trickle of ‘ma-penny’ as his many women slowly disappeared. The Label Company took back the mansion from Mac Muga, and he downgraded to a maisonette in S.A. as he sold off his cars one by one, in an attempt to keep up appearances and the lavish nice lifestyle.
Soon, with both cash and cars gone, Mr Nice was reduced to living in a one room SQ in SA – until his visa/working permit ran out, and they ran Mac Muga out of the country… the way Wild West Sherrifs run villains out of town in Western movies.
The Future
Mr Nice, tail between his legs like a defeated dawg, is now back in his native nation of TZ — but at least like a hopeful wolf, he’s been back in the studio to release a new song, now that the money is all gone after the high life down South. If Mac Muga makes a comeback, even of a small nature, he will be much more careful next time round – although comebacks in this industry are rare .. just ask Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer, Mac Muga’s heroes. If he fails, he’ll consider robbery, thiefery, suicide or depression. The stars say he’ll go for … (drum-roll pliz … option c attempted suicide. How? By pandaing a baiskeli to which he has attached a lot of ‘kukus,’ and pedalling over a cliff…
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