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The yin-yang balance

By | January 16th 2010

BY Joseph Hellon

We are all relational and vocational. Understanding the place of relationships and vocation is the key that unlocks the treasure of the reason human beings exist- their purpose. It’s strange that vocation has been the enemy of many relationships instead of it being the cementing force of a well balanced life.

If there is one thing that most men find difficult to discern, it is the purpose of women. It is sad that most men look at women from only one dimension – beauty.

Whereas men and women are equal and of the same essence, their roles are complementary.

They see this as the incentive towards building relationships. But appearances, much as they have a part, are often fleeting and vain. Real value lies in the purpose of a person.

The fact is, where purpose is unknown, abuse is inevitable. Most abuse in relationships stems from ignorance. The purpose of a woman determines her function and needs.

If her purpose is known, her nature and design will be cherished and protected by the man. This in turn will reveal her function and needs. The man respects and values her.

Whereas men and women are of the same essence, they differ in design. Men are generally givers and women are generally receivers. This does not mean that women cannot give and men cannot receive. These roles can be swapped occasionally.

The object here is the giving and the receiving of love. Communicating love to a woman makes her feel loved and cherished. Just like women’s wear are designed for women, love should and must be designed and tailor made for the women – give in the form that they like to receive it. Men must therefore do the stitching in view of the changing needs and times.

Desire to dominate

Men and women have complementary designs – nothing about superiority or inferiority. Just like warp and weft fit in to create an amazing fabric of exquisite design, men and women must fit into each other’s designs to create a fabric of silky tenderness and give the warmth of love.

A woman who tries another design other than that of a woman will therefore interfere with her own purpose thereby jeopardising her needs.

The same applies to men. Confusion of purpose makes men desire to dominate women as women try to please men.

This confusion is what has become the bane of male-female relationships for ages. It boils down to the perpetuation of life. Child bearing has never been a curse. It can be hellish though if the father of the child has no idea about the purpose of the woman.

Fatherhood is not meant to be a burden as some men think. Responsible fatherhood is the future of a balanced society as we desire it to be. This is why I can’t emphasise purpose strongly enough!

A woman is an enhancer. That is her role. Without a woman, the sperm cannot be enhanced to an offspring. The man gives the sperm and the woman enhances it to fruition. A woman is therefore a co-leader with the man. She shares in his vision and works with him to accomplish what they were both designed to do.

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