Our Haiti mission remains on course, but let's consider one-man state for Prezzo Henry

President William Ruto and Haiti Prime Minister Ariel Henry during the signing of a reciprocal instrument between Kenya and Haiti on the Multi-National security support mission in Haiti. [PSCU]

I hear our “humanitarian” mission to Haiti is still on course, even though Prezzo Ariel Henry, has been forced to operate from abroad until the turmoil in his land is quelled. At this point, marauding gangs have overrun the nation’s international airport, which means his plane cannot land in Port-au-Prince, Haiti’s capital city. Goons control more than eighty per cent of the city.

One of the top gang leaders, who goes by the street name of Barbeque, has promised to turn Prezzo Henry into a snack. Or maybe the salt that will spice up his snack; he was speaking in Haitian creole, so something may have been lost in translation. But there was no doubt that he is determined not to let Henry back in Haiti.

I have no idea how we got here, nosing around other trouble spots in the world when we can ill-afford it, and when our own citizens are still at the mercies of illegal militias such as Kamjesh, Mungiki, Chinkororo and cattle rustlers up north.

Dispatch navy

But since Prezzo Bill Ruto is determined to send our troops to Haiti anyway, I am inclined to propose that he dispatches the navy, who might be able to navigate the Caribbean better on water.

And that’s a territory that this renowned Barbeque chap might be unfamiliar with.

The trouble is what to do once they get to Haiti. If all but fragments of the capital city are controlled by gangs, then it’d be prudent for our officers to form pseudo gangs that infiltrate Barbeque’s gang network and wreck it from the inside.

I know there is that little matter about language, but I believe our officers are street-smart and would play those gangsters and find ways of surmounting the language barrier. What matters is that they are dark as Haitians, as Prezzo Ruto said once.

I rather like this sort of logic; it simplifies many complex challenges.

Alternatively, since we’re generous to a fault, we could welcome Prezzo Henry back to our shores and allow him a one-man state, under the guard of our 1,000-strong troops. Not bad at all for a man on the run.