Long live Comrade Bob, long live Comrade Mugabe, long live Africa

Comrade Bob Mugabe, the Life President of Zimbabwe, turns 91 later this month, and he has an early gift from the African Union, where he was appointed chairman for the 54 member-states.

The European Union, who imposed sanctions on Comrade Bob and his wife, said he is free to visit Europe while transacting business for the AU.

The EU were silent about the Zimbabwean First Lady; she was denied a visa last year when Comrade Bob was invited to a EU-Africa summit.

The First Lady, Grace, is 40 years younger than Comrade Bob and her youthful age allows her energies to perform certain tasks pretty quickly; she completed a doctoral programme from the University of Zimbabwe after only two months of enrolment and is reputed to have such a spectacular gift burning through dollars, a single shopping costs six-figure bills.

She is also reputed to harbour political ambitions, with some rumour pointing to the possibility of her succeeding Comrade Bob whenever he is ready to relinquish the reigns, which appears quite unlikely to be any time soon.

Comrade Bob fell last week while coming down the stairs at the airport, which attests to his waning strength.

I have never really believed the assertion that Comrade Bob is a strongman and my counsel to him is that he should feel no shame whatsoever using a cane to support his walk.

After all, as the departed Jackson Angaine used to say, politicians don't go to Parliament to play football, and certainly not at the Harare State House.