Marriage must not be used to define a woman
By Wellingtone Abwao | April 11th 2021
I have been following the debate on social media about women who can’t get husbands. Some have been carrying placards around looking for men to marry them.
My heart sinks when I see this. It is, however, important to note that it is not a woman’s fault if she cannot get a husband. Women go through a lot; especially due to the expectations society has on them. Society may not be so accurate in its description of a good wife or mother.
So, how should women get out of this hole? A woman should start planning for the future. You may need a husband to be there for you, especially in your old age. There is never a guarantee that your siblings will be there for you. Your parents may not be there either. One of the ways to get a husband may be to borrow skills from the Biblical Naomi, who made Boaz notice her and eventually marry her.
However, as they say, marriage is not for everyone. So don’t get yourself worked up because you can’t find a man to marry you, or in case your marriage is crumbling. Marriage should not be used to define a woman or even a man. You are much more than a marriage partner. You may also consider having a baby or two. Remember, you are a human being and as social beings, we need people at some point. If you can’t give birth, adoption is also an option.
And after you get children, secure their future by educating them. It is a good investment. Your children will support you more than anyone else. Teach your children manners. Ensure they respect you and those around them because that is another way of ensuring their future is safe. Apart from you, as their mother, teach them that they need other people to succeed in whatever they do. Also, invest in other areas. Buy property. A business is also a good idea. Get a piece of land here and another there. You may also want to consider government bonds. It is all about securing your future. Build yourself a home. You don’t have to wait for a man to do this for you. Make it as beautiful and comfortable as it can be. Let it be the envy of your peers and the entire village, if you have the money.
Finally, if you are able, travel the world, enjoy life instead of crying over a man and marriage. Visit places you never imagined and make friends. Have lots of fun.
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