Life of rejection, abuse for Kuria women who did not undergo 'cut'

When Mary Bhoke (not her real name) got married, she was optimistic that she would happily spend the rest of her life with her husband. Little did she know that her joy would be short-lived. She would soon learn that Female Genital Mutilation (FGM), which is something she had loathed from childhood, was embraced by her new family as a way of life. Things took a turn for the worse when the man's family turned against her because she did not undergo 'female cut'. Married to a first-born son, the mother of one says she was not allowed to open the homestead's gate as is the custom in the Kuria community. Instead, the family preferred the wife of her husband's younger brother to be opening the gate. With each passing day, the family distanced themselves from her and incited their son against her. She says her husband at first ignored them as he had told her he had accepted her the way she was. Immediately after Bhoke gave birth, her husband turned against her. "His family was against me because I did not undergo FGM. When my daughter was three months old, he came home very early and when I greeted him he did not answer. He hit me so hard that my leg was broken at the knee," she said. She said it was one abuse after another - being violated physically, psychologically and emotionally. When she could not bear it anymore, she decided to go back to her parents' home. But even there, she became the laughing stock among neighbours and villagers. "I was advocating against FGM but it turned against me. When my marriage fell apart, I felt like an outcast," she said. The Anti-FGM Board chair parson Agnes Pareiyo {in red dress ) joins a dance with a Kuria elder on October 8, 2021, during the signing of the consensus between the Government and the Kuria Community to help in the fight against female genital mutilation FGM. [Caleb Kingwara, Standard] Bhoke wondered what she would tell other women given that something she was advocating against did not work for her. "They used to say, 'You see now, we told her to go and get the 'cut' but she refused. She went to be married and has been sent away. She pretends to be a Christian. You see now she is back,'" she recalled. It took Bhoke time to heal. She later learnt of a group of young women who were struggling with the same fate as hers. She managed to contact an organisation that was helping young women overcome trauma. "The mentorship programmes made me regain hope and I saw how valuable I was in society. It made me understand that I still had a space in the society despite what I had gone through. I felt like I was being healed. It was very hard but I overcame," Bhoke said. She started having peace, understanding and loving herself again. For Jackline Robi (not her real name), she avoided undergoing FGM even as her elder and younger sisters accepted to be 'cut'. This, however, turned her into an outcast in her family. "The practice would be conducted after every two years in December. My grandmother used to come as early as August. My two sisters who were before me went," Robi said. She had to drop out of a teachers training college for lack of fees and she got married as a fourth wife to a Tanzanian man. Robi's life became difficult as she said she could not go back home as her father was strict and she had not undergone FGM. She ended up getting pregnant for the man and when she was giving birth she heard women in that place telling each other that it was time to subject her to the 'cut'. "I believe God helped me. The prayers I used to pray helped me. After giving birth, I went home and escaped from that family," she said. She applied for TTC afresh and secured a teaching job after completing her education. She later got married to a man from her community. "I was open to him and told him I had not been 'cut'. He told me that is the kind of woman he wanted," Robi said. But after living together for 10 years and getting two sons, they went their separate ways. When they later had a misunderstanding over a sick child, the man called her "you who was not cut and smelly" in a text message: "I was so much hurt by his words. I was so heartbroken." Bhoke and Robi are calling on men to accept and embrace women who have not undergone FGM. Last year, the Anti-FGM board met with elders from the Kuria community and signed an agreement to stop the practice. In December last year, about 400 girls were rescued and 80 people arrested in connection with subjecting girls to FGM. Migori County Commissioner Meru Mwangi said the fight against FGM in the community is on.

Life of rejection, abuse for Kuria women who did not undergo 'cut'

Get Full Access for Ksh299/Week.

Related Topics

Popular this week

Latest Stories

The Standard Insider

Digger Classified

GET OUR NEWSLETTER

CONNECT WITH US

FOR THE LATEST JOB ADVERTS

DIGGER JOBS

Digger Motors

Digger Real Estate

Life of rejection, abuse for Kuria women who did not undergo 'cut'

Get Full Access for Ksh299/Week.

Related Topics

Trending Now

Popular this week

Latest Stories

The Standard Insider

Digger Classified

GET OUR NEWSLETTER

CONNECT WITH US

FOR THE LATEST JOB ADVERTS