Active voice likely to attract readers and retain their interest

Too often, many of us start to read a story in a newspaper or magazine but soon lose interest. Sometimes the opening sentence is enough to put you off, which is why the introduction to any story should be captivating to draw in the reader. Unfortunately, this is what most of us fail to observe in writing, ending up with boring stories. The use of the passive and active voices plays a vital role in determining how the reader reacts.

When a story lacks direction as a result of a mixed up thought process, ideas clashing without a discernible pattern, you can be sure it will not be read. It is both amusing and annoying to read statements like, “The deceased walked into the supermarket and ran into a hail of bullets that killed him” or “the deceased is a drug addict”.

It is amusing because it beats logic how a dead person can walk into a supermarket or be an addict. It is annoying because it takes up too much time for those who edit such stories for publication because they sometimes have to rewrite them, sometimes even having to guess what the writer intended to convey. There are risks in this because recourse to conjecture not only robs the story of substance, the likelihood of misinformation leading to libel is increased.

Active voice

Sentences written in the passive voice tend to be bland, hesitant, and non-committal. Take for instance the current environmental circumstances. The heavy rains in most parts of the country have caused great damage.

The media has been updating us on the situation continually. The passive voice comes out clearly when you read something to the effect that “a period of bad weather has set in and most parts of the country are experiencing heavy disruptions”. Note, however, that the sentence is grammatically correct.

To simply write “it rains daily” is to use the active voice; to be more concise, and to avoid the employ of unnecessary words. The temptation to be verbose sometimes arises from the need to attain a certain word count in a story. The danger is that one might end with a boring narration full of tautology. Thus, in writing, it is important to avoid words that add no value to your story. In our everyday interactions, we come across expressions such as ‘the reason why’ (why), ‘this is a subject that’ (this subject), ‘he is a person who’ (he), ‘there is no doubt that’ (doubtless), ‘call her attention to the fact that’ (remind), and ‘owing to the fact that’ (because). Using the words in the brackets, one can tell a story more clearly with (in) a few words.

Auxiliary verbs

There is the additional difficulty for some writers in using words such as ‘would’ and ‘will’, ‘shall’ and ‘should’, ‘can’ and ‘could’, ‘may’ and ‘might’. These words are known as auxiliary verbs, for they cannot be used independently without a main verb. For example, ‘Will you ever stop blaming me for your shortcomings?’ The main verb here is ‘blaming’. In this sentence, the word ‘will’ expresses a desire. Ideally, it also expresses what is likely to take place in the future (‘Hopefully, it will not rain tomorrow’), describes capacity (‘Despite the heavy rains, Ndakaini Dam will not fill up’), or determination (‘No matter what, I will do it’).

‘Would’, often used together with the adverb ‘rather’ (but not limited to it), is the past form of ‘will’ and expresses ones preference (‘I would rather walk than take a ride on one of those poorly maintained passenger motor bikes’). Equally important, the word is used to depict the possibility of something being or happening. Again, it expresses routine; ‘Normally, I would leave the office punctually at 9pm’.

‘Will’ and ‘shall’ are sometimes interchangeably used as the line between American and British English thins. However, ‘shall’ is used to expresses the future (‘I shall ‘leave for Mombasa Tuesday next week’), assertion (‘We shall overcome the challenges we face’), and commitment (‘I shall get the water for you’). ‘Should’ is the past form of ‘shall’. It can be used to seek the opinion of others (‘What should we do now that the car won’t move?’)

‘Can’ is used to show ability (‘I can do it comfortably’), to ask for permission (‘Can I please take your photograph?’), and to grant a request (‘yes, you can have more of the sauce ’)

Mr Chagema is a correspondent at [email protected]