Building a better relationship with money

Building a better relationship with money (Photo: iStock)

The idea that money is linked to our beliefs and habits isn’t new. Finance coach and advisor Margaret Njeri explains how women can cultivate a healthier relationship with their finances by understanding and reshaping their beliefs and daily actions.

How would you define a healthy relationship with money?

It is one where one feels informed, in control and at peace. It’s not about having millions; it’s about feeling confident in financial decisions, aligned with their goals and free from financial stress.

What are the signs a woman has a healthy relationship with money?

She tracks her spending, sets boundaries with emphasis on ‘black tax’, saves consistently even in small amounts and speaks about money with clarity and confidence. She doesn’t equate her worth with her income and knows how to say “no” to financial pressure. Also, when she finally knows that someone else’s emergency is not her emergency.

What are the signs of an unhealthy relationship with money?

Avoiding bank statements, living pay cheque to pay cheque without planning, impulse spending to take care of emotions, feeling guilty around money decisions, fearing discussions about money or overborrowing.

What steps can one take to build a positive money mindset?

Rewriting money beliefs from “money is hard to manage” to “I am learning to manage money wisely”. They can also be around financially empowered women, read finance books and celebrate small wins.

What strategies are there to manage money in healthy ways?

Use a budgeting app, automate savings and bills, keep receipts, save before spending, plan for both short-term and long-term goals and review progress monthly.

Are there any small daily practices to strengthen our relationship with money?

Yes. Reviewing one financial goal daily. By practising a “spend pause” before purchases. By reflecting on one thing they are financially grateful for and saying affirmations like “I am a good steward of my money” and “I attract abundance”.

How can they be financially responsible without being overly fearful about money?

Financial responsibility is rooted in awareness and planning. Fear comes from insecurity or trauma, especially from childhood, which often leads to hoarding, underspending or indecision. The goal is balance and being financially literate.

How can you advise those with guilt or shame about past financial mistakes?

Mistakes are not life sentences; they are lessons. Guilt keeps them stuck, but ownership sets them free. I’d advise them to own their mistakes, reflect, forgive themselves, seek guidance and take small corrective steps. They should always share their financial journey with someone having similar goals or simply have a financial advisor.

What emotional blocks often stop them from reaching financial wellness?

Fear of failure, low self-worth, money trauma from childhood, guilt for earning more than family or spouse and cultural beliefs like money is a man’s domain or responsibility.

How can mindfulness practices help them manage money better?

Mindfulness builds awareness of spending triggers, emotional spending patterns and money beliefs. Journaling before making big purchases can reduce impulsivity and increase intentionality. Being present helps make wiser and also value-aligned money choices and makes sure to invest in financial literacy.

What role does gratitude play in building a healthy financial life?

Gratitude helps in shifting focus from scarcity to sufficiency. When women practice gratitude, they acknowledge the resources they already have, the income, opportunities and knowledge, which creates a mindset of abundance. This attitude helps cut unnecessary spending driven by comparison or lack and encourages purposeful financial decisions rooted in contentment.

What is the biggest mindset shift that transforms women’s financial lives?

The most powerful shift is from fear to ownership. Many women are socialised to see money as intimidating or out of reach. So when a woman transforms this narrative to “I am in control of my finances”, it gives them confidence to budget, invest and pursue wealth intentionally. Financial freedom begins when a woman believes she deserves it.

How can they practise financial self-care?

Financial self-care includes creating a spending plan, setting boundaries on impulse buying, black tax, reviewing accounts regularly and setting aside “joy money” without guilt. It also means having honest conversations about money, taking financial literacy courses and scheduling monthly money check-ins.

What is a simple starter habit for those who feel overwhelmed by money management?

Start with tracking your daily expenses and keeping receipts for every purchase made. This helps know where the money is going versus where they want it to go.

How can women create habits that balance both spending joyfully and saving wisely?

Intentional planning. Allocate money for needs, savings and guilt-free joy. For instance, follow the 50/30/20 rule—50 per cent for needs, 30 per cent for wants and 20 per cent for savings. Joyful spending becomes sustainable when it doesn’t affect long-term financial goals.

What is that one small action women can take today to start building a healthier money relationship?

Scheduling a money date. Brew a cup of tea, open a bank app, review finances and write down one financial intention. This action informs the mind that money is safe, not scary. This grows into a culture that their future self or generation will be proud of.