What are women looking for in men’s fingers and it’s not a ring…

I stumbled upon some rather interesting piece of information that accompanied the story on the Kenya Defence Forces recruitment. The article said some fellows did not make the cut owing to the colouration (or discolouration of their teeth). According to the story, those with brown teeth find themselves at a horrible disadvantage when it comes to joining the defence forces.

So, do those who have behinds that are too round or too jelly like. While I found this very informational, it also had me thinking about how women choose their men. Of course men like to believe women are not as driven by aesthetics as they are - they like to imagine that we are driven more by money and machismo.

The truth of the matter is that women - just like men - like to look at men with lust. We like to ogle them and size them up as if they are pieces of meat - and we like to decide if they are succulent or worth eating after all. There are a few body parts that we like to look at and which we use to determine if matters should progress further.

A man’s behind is a sight to behold especially if it is nicely sized and is nicely toned. Women respond to behinds that are not overgrown that have been tended through a fair amount of exercise and which fit very well in the right kind of trousers.

Some men, either through their genes or through neglect have acquired massive gelatinous behinds, which in themselves offer competition to ladies’ behinds. We do not like these behinds - toned, fit in the hands behinds are those we like and those that make the cut.

Women also like to look at men’s torsos. We drool over men’s torsos. Of course the winning prize goes to men with fine flat abs that disappear naturally into the pleasure Bermuda Triangle. That is why gym instructors are always a hit because they have the right torsos, which indicate that they have the right thoracic capacity to engage in extra-curricular activities.

Let us be very clear - let us not confuse well - structured torsos with healthy bellies.

Torsos that are well taken care of are evidence that a man can handle the pleasure business while the potbellies indicate that a man might easily die while handling the business.

This might come as a surprise to many men - but women also size up men based on their hands and more specifically their fingers. The jury is still out on whether size and length of fingers has any bearing on size and length of other useful equipment.

However, a man with badly tended fingers is trouble. Badly tended fingers are those fingers that have overgrown nails and too ashy.

The most horrible hands are those men who like to keep their little finger nail in bad shape, leaving it overgrown and looking more of a talon than a nail.

Men need to know that many love games have been won and lost in men’s hands. Yes, men’s hands count a whole lot and we usually use them to determine if men are joining our defence forces. So if you want to win with women, make sure you have the right torso, behind and fingers. Once you throw in a healthy wallet and good manners, you are bound to make the cut.

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