Work your way from a Beta to an Alpha male

An alpha male is a man who is unquestionably in charge, exudes confidence and is a fun relaxed guy. He will not work hard at imposing his authority on others because everyone realises that he really is the sheriff. When he doesn’t like something, he won’t whine about it on social media, he will take steps to change it. Other men want to be him; women want to be with him.

The beta male is the polar opposite. He will be the loud brash one who is overly cocky, always needing validation and putting others down to seem bigger. So are you an alpha or a beta? How can you work on yourself to bring out that alpha man you should be?

1. Be the first to smile

Ever avoided warming up to people around you with a smile because you risk non-reciprocation? However, cliché, smiles are contagious and those around you will be grateful you spared them from easing the tension themselves. The real achievement in life is learning to be happy with your lot.

2. Communicate

As you strive to be a genuine communicator, listen as much as you speak. Tap into your emotional intelligence and don’t offer solutions unless it has been asked for. People want empathy. Project open mindedness and understanding.

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3. Shake off the domination, it’s not all about you

We live in such a dynamic world that you should be aware of the different contexts. Just because you are the boss at work or the biggest muscle at the gym doesn’t mean you will receive ululations everywhere. Be interested in others.

4. Step back, fights are not cool

It takes a bigger man to walk away from a confrontation. It is the most alpha thing you can do to yourself. If you need violence to prove that you are a man, your definition is skewed. Set an example as the leader by walking away from meaningless scuffles.

 5.  Call out wrongs

This is the one moment you need to exert your assertion and demand from people to treat others just like they’d want to be treated. It could be a lady getting sexually harassed at work, do not sink into the fear of appearing ‘uncool’ by telling the perpetrators it is wrong to do that. Just remember to do it respectfully.

6.  Be flexible

Be stiff and just like a tree, you will easily be broken. Allowing yourself to be less rigid will ensure you are more resilient and is not the ‘I insist guy’. Flexibility will not only make you considerate of others but will mould an approachable leader in you.  Remember what Maya Angelou said, that people may forget what you said but not how you made them feel.

7.  You are not God

Pretending that you have all the answers is setting yourself up for a spectacular failure. Understand your expertise and know the limits that it comes with. This should extend to being easy to apologise and accepting correction when you get things wrong. Who said alphas are super human beings who don’t ask for advice?

8.    Bonus

What is being an alpha male without the physique to match it? Hit the gym and get into shape. Build the body of the warrior you are, cut down on that kitambi. Pick up the books gathering dust in your shelves, muscle-up your brain too.  

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