When bladders come loose at unfortunate moments

When they were writing last term’s examinations, Pudd’ng told me about one of her classmates who had an accident. And I’m afraid that this accident may erroneously define her for the rest of her school life; or, if she is unlucky, for as long as her classmates know her.  

“In the afternoon when we were doing a test paper, we heard the drip-drip sound of water falling on classroom floor,” Pudd’ng narrated.

“The whole class turned to look at the girl who was seated in the back, and we realised that she was passing urine in her seat. We had to finish our paper, before she was asked to wash the classroom.”

“Did she ask the teacher for permission to use the bathroom and the teacher refused?” I asked my daughter, trying to make sense of this classroom mishap, but baby girl said that no such thing happened.

“Class act”

There are days when Pudd’ng knocks on the door - when she is home from school or was playing with her friends - and she rushes straight to the toilet at break-neck speed. 

Maybe that girl was acting like our daughter. Maybe, just maybe, that poor girl held her brakes – and then some – and then she got to a question in her test paper, and as she tried to concentrate on it, she took her “feet” off the brakes, and all hell broke loose. 

What’s strange is that these cases of “class acts” seem to mostly affect girls. While in primary school, I remember cases of girls whose bladder came loose in class.  

When I did an “irrigation”

However, when it comes to bed-wetting, I believe that it happens to both girls and boys – and grown men and women – in almost equal measure. In high school, there were boys in dormitories who got bad reps because of bed-wetting. 

But bed-wetting can happen to anyone. I think that it depends on different variables. Like what one drank before they went to sleep. Or if they took a short call before they turned in. Or if they have a dream that leads to bed-wetting. Or if they are sleeping in a new environment.

Well, when I was in Form 3, it happened to me. I was sleeping on the top bunker, while a Fourth Former occupied the bottom bunker. I dreamed that the deputy head teacher was giving me an ass whooping. In real life, I always put on a brave macho face when I was being caned by teachers. But in this dream, the caning was so stinging that my bladder came loose.

I immediately sat up in bed, to the sight of the Fourth Former standing on edge of my bed, as I “irrigated” his bed with urea and other chemicals. I had never felt so ashamed in my life. Fortunately, this brother was understanding and did not hang me out to dry.  

Though our daughter has the habit of waiting till the very last moment to empty her bladder, she has wet her bed only once. That was in early 2014, when we moved to our new house, and she was, for the first time, in her own bedroom. I think she got up to go to the toilet, and was either afraid or confused by the layout of the new house.

Being the better girl

I know that, in school, one can be the brunt of jokes because of accidents like bed-wetting. The name-calling – and sometimes even just stares and whispers, which may not even be about the mishap – can give a child self-esteem issues.  

Which is why I told Pudd’ng that she should be the better girl. I told her to stand up for her classmate when other children made fun of her.

I hope and pray that, in this and other issues, she will always do better.