HIV doesn’t define me

Edelqueen is a typical representation of the modern-day sophisticated woman. Confident, beautiful and blessed with unparalleled eloquence, it’s hard to even begin to fathom what the dignified career lady has been through especially since she found out that she was HIV positive aged just 14. Born 30 years ago in Nairobi, her parents died when she was really young. According to Queen, her father died after battling an illness that paralysed him. Meanwhile, her mother had an ailment that had turned her into a bag of bones. “I am the last born in a family of five. My mother died when I was eight while my father passed away when I was 10. I had a younger brother who died young.”

Although a sickly child in primary school, Queen did not let this deter her away from her dreams of joining a National High School. The bright youngster might have been missing school because of constant illnesses but she managed to score 437 out of 500 marks in the 2002 KCPE National Exams. “I was in the newspaper. That earned me a spot in Kenya High School,” she elatedly recalls.

Better not knowing

As she was still settling in high school, she got an attack. “I had a combination of illnesses. After that, I spent about a month in the sanatorium. My friends updated me on what was happening in school, alongside bringing me their notes for me to copy and read.”

Immediately after that, she had another attack! “My waistline was invaded by big watery boils that were itchy and grew bigger by the day. I had had skin conditions before, but not like this one”. The doctor referred to the illness as herpes zoster, an inflammatory condition characterised by blistering, itching and a burning rash. A HIV test was recommended.  

Queen’s elder sister was called to the school. It’s then that the duo started looking for VCT centres in Nairobi. “I was rejected in two centres that we visited because every time they asked me what I would do if the tests turned out positive I got overly emotional. We later ended up in Kenyatta National Hospital.”

But, while queuing at KNH’s VCT Centre, Queen’s sister broke down and started weeping. “We both started crying. A counselor at the facility saw us and asked us into her office. She calmly talked to us and convinced my sister that it would be best if I did not undergo the test. We heeded her advice and went back to school. Luckily for me, the rash cleared after the normal herpes zoster medication.”

Her performance was not affected by the constant absenteeism from class though. “I was this bright girl who liked to read.”

Queen had always been curious about the disease that always made her skin scaly. In the process of reading, she stumbled upon the symptoms of HIV. That is when the suspicions started.

“But I ruled out this option because, babies who were born with the virus seemed to die before age five. The fact that I was way above that age convinced me that it was impossible to have contracted the virus from my mother.

“I even found a way of explaining to people why I often fell ill. I told them that I was born with a low immune system,” she adds.

However, in Form Two, when she went to see a dermatologist for her usual checkup, he insisted on a blood test. Recalling the first emotional incident, hers was a firm no! “I think I didn’t want to know because by 2004, only rich people could afford the ARV drugs; they weren’t free like today. Therefore, being HIV positive then meant death!”

But still the test had to be done. A doctor had told her that taking the test would give him a chance to help her in the best way possible. When the results came, they were positive. Queen’s biggest fear had been confirmed. She became hysterical; she was in an emotional whirlwind. When her sister was informed, she confessed that she already knew but chose not to reveal the truth to her lest she derails her educational path.

“Fortunately, my elder siblings were born negative. I harboured no ill-feelings towards my late parents. I will always love them.”  

The school principal was also informed. She acted in a very professional manner. “I am very grateful to her because she gave me Sh5,000 for the first dosage of ARVs.”

Queen says she’s lucky to have a supportive family. They helped her cope when she was given a two-week break from school. “My sister, through her networks, learnt of a programme that was providing free ARVs to people living with HIV. It was called MSF — Belgium. It was based in Mbagathi District Hospital.”

When she went back, she read and joined sports clubs as a way of dealing with the situation. “In school, if the teachers knew, they didn’t show it. Learning to me continued normally. In fact, I was glad whenever teachers came to class and did headcounts of the straight As they were expecting during KCSE.”

Queen scored an A minus and joined Moi University, Eldoret to study Applied Statistics in Computing in 2008. “Before campus, I had started working with an NGO that dealt with trying to improve the lives of people living positively with HIV and women empowerment. I think in that organisation, nearly everyone was HIV-positive. The women got to find out my story; they encouraged me and prodded me to talk to young people. For me, this was a confidence booster as I was a bit comfortable and had fully accepted my status before joining campus. I could now talk more freely to people about it.”

In university, Queen didn’t isolate herself. She even went on dates. “At some point, I had to disclose my status. Some people took it well while others were shocked.” However, this didn’t affect her in any way as she was able to continue with her studies. “My proudest moment was when I vied and won a student leader position in my second year.”

Writing was therapy

Going back to when she was 19, Queen had started working on a book detailing the ups and downs in her life. “Writing was a way of dealing with the issues that I was dealing with.”

And just a few months ago, the book Girl with a Thorn was launched. Now a government officer and researcher based in the Coast Region, she’s also the founder of Queen’s Camp, a programme that offers mentorship to young people. She partners with relevant bodies in mentorship programs for the youth. She seeks to impart them with life skills that are necessary to stop suicide and suicide attempts, teenage pregnancies, dropping out of school and HIV infections among 15 to 24 year-olds.

“Research shows that even with information like condom usage and abstinence, teenagers and adolescents. are more afraid of getting pregnant than contracting HIV. I felt that this is a deep-rooted problem that needs to be dealt with a younger stage.”

Queen says she does not face any stigma either socially or at her workplace. Her confidence and self-esteem have remained intact. “I have family, close friends and colleagues who have been very supportive.”

Queen is currently not in relationship but would want to get married someday and have children

“But it is not something I am thinking about right now because my schedule is full of projects I am planning on undertaking.”

Parting shot?

“When you stop thinking about your problems, you become conscious of others. You realise there are other people who have bigger problems than you. My Christina background has helped me accept my condition and I have made the best out of it by assisting others whenever I can.”