Pain of having a stepdad who raped me as a child walk me down the aisle

Essex: It was supposed to have been the happiest moment of Tina Southern's life when she married the man of her dreams.

But the man walking her down the aisle was the step-father who had sexually assaulted and raped her over almost ten years when she was a child.

Evil Brian Fairchild came into Tina's life in 1973 after Tina's parents split up and he started dating her mum.

Fairchild, then 44, came across as the ideal father figure — a fireman and a hero in the community of Barking and Corringham, Essex, where Tina grew up with her family.

But when he started a campaign of sick sexual abuse against nine-year-old Tina, later giving her sweets to buy her silence, his true, warped nature soon began to show.

The frightened young Tina had never been close to her mum and feared that if she told her, she would not be believed , and in an astonishing betrayal, she was correct.

Almost three decades after the abuse happened and 19 years after her wedding, Tina found the courage to press charges — terrified her own daughter could be Fairchild's next target.

In June this year, Fairchild, 77, was jailed for more than 14 years after being convicted of rape and six counts of indecent assault against his stepdaughter.

Yet, shockingly, Tina's mum chose to stand by him.

Tina said as a child, she desperately wanted a loving mum she could feel close to.

She said: "But her priority was always Brian. I never felt close enough to tell her what was going on and I knew she wouldn't believe me.

"I was right to think that, too, because she stood by him even after he was convicted. She still doesn't believe it."

Tina continued: "I've spent my life wanting to please my mum and one of the reasons I didn't say anything about the abuse was to protect her from the horrific reality.

"But when it came to it, and I realised she was standing by Brian, it was crushing beyond comprehension.

"When I needed her support the most, she turned her back on me.

"I feel like I've gone through a grieving process for my mum as I've completely lost her. We don't talk now and she is no part of my life, which is so hard to take on board."

Tina, of Tilbury, Essex, has courageously waived her anonymity to speak about her horrific ordeal.

Now aged 50, a mum-of-three herself, she said: "That monster destroyed my life but now he's where he belongs I can start living.

"I still shudder when I recall him smiling and squeezing my waist tightly as he posed for photos with me on my wedding day.

"He acted like he was the groom, and even muscled his way into my first dance. He repulsed me."

Tina was an innocent eight-year-old when her mum first introduced sick Fairchild to her and her older brother, 42 years ago, after her parents separated.

She said: "He was a fireman and well known in the area. Everyone liked him. Mum explained he was going to live with us."

Initially, she said, it was great to have Brian around but things changed after Tina turned nine.

Tearfully, she recalls: "One day he saw me doing some homework.

"That's when he got me to touch him for the first time."

Tina did as Fairchild said and in her confused innocence she thought it was a form of punishment.

She says: "Another time I was sitting on the sofa and Brian told me that before I could watch my favourite programme, I had to do something for him.

"He then made me touch him whispering to me to keep it secret."

Fairchild soon began living out his depraved fantasies with increasing regularity.

He would go into Tina's bedroom to make her touch him and also grope her.

Tina says: "I didn't understand but I hated it. I'd sing nursery rhymes to myself to try to block it out.

"I thought it was my fault and I grew up terrified."

Yet worse was yet to come and when Tina was 12 she was at home having lunch when Fairchild stormed into the house and, without warning, climbed on top of her and raped her.

She says: "I was in agony and too terrified to scream.

"I ran to the park crying, my mind spinning.

"I was too frightened to tell anyone. I knew if I did I'd be taken into care or nobody would believe me."

Then when she was 14, to her horror, her unsuspecting mum married Fairchild and afterwards when he officially adopted Tina the abuse continued.

 

When she was 19, Tina met sales rep Martin Southern, then 22.

She says: "He was wonderful — kind, easy-going, and he made me feel safe."

At first Tina kept the abuse secret, while having counselling at the South Essex Rape and Incest Crisis Centre.

But when Martin proposed a few years later, she said she knew it was time to tell him.

Tina says: "Martin was shocked and he just hugged me.

"He didn't want him at our wedding but if I banned him from it, it would have meant telling people about the abuse, and I just couldn't cope with that."

On her big day — September 25, 1993 — Tina was sick to her stomach to watch Fairchild play the role of loving stepdad.

She says: "I was seething with hate but hid behind a smile."

In time Tina and Martin, now 53, had a daughter, now 18, then twin boys, now 11.

"Their marriage didn't last but they stayed good friends.

Tina continues: "Despite not having much of a relationship with my mum, she would try and visit with Brian to see their grandchildren.

"I never left them alone in Brian's company but my daughter, then 13, mentioned that her hug goodbye from Brian felt odd but nothing untoward happened.

"She asked me if he had ever done anything strange to me.

"I didn't believe in lying to my kids. Quietly I told her the truth."

After gaining strength through the support of her daughter, in March 2012 Tina finally contacted the police.

"A year later, Fairchild was arrested.

Tina says: "My mum stood by him throughout, which was tough to deal with.

"But things got worse when the CPS decided to take no further action due to lack of evidence. I broke down in tears of disbelief."

Tina put in an appeal to the CPS's Victims' Right to Review scheme.

Fairchild was rearrested in May 2014 and charged with one count of rape and six counts of indecent assault.

But at Southend Crown Court in November 2014, the trial resulted in a hung jury and Tina was devastated.

A retrial was agreed and, in April this year, Fairchild was finally convicted at Basildon Crown Court.

He was sentenced to a total of 14 years and six months and made subject of a sexual harm prevention order.

Tina said: "After years of torture, he has been unmasked and he's behind bars — where he belongs."