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Help! I'm no longer attracted to women after heartbreak

By - | July 26th 2012

Readers Dilemma

Hi, I am 22 years old. I suffered a heartbreak, which took me almost half a year to heal. Since then, I have developed a negative attitude towards women and I have been single for the last three years.

I have never been attracted to any chick since then. I am also very disturbed when I hear my friends talking about their girlfriends, as I don’t see the need. Please advise.

Your Say
My brother, life isn’t about one person. You will meet different people and they will not be the same. Don’t rush, with time you will come over it and meet someone and will turn you around.
Allan Omarana Nairobi.

Human beings are social animals. You cannot live in loneliness. Develop a positive attitude towards women. You will eventually find yourself a lovely woman whom you can share the rest of your life with.
Paul Kimeu, Nairobi

First things first, sorry for the heartbreak you suffered. It usually happens and how you handle it is what matters. It can break or shape you into a better person. One thing you should always know in life is that it’s only your God who will never fail you. As long as you are dealing with people these things are bound to happen. Pray for your ideal wife. Not everyone in this life is the same. If you would like to see other women differently, seek God’s guidance and try forgiving and forgetting.
Kwamboka, Nairobi

Disappointments are part of life and they keep us strong. I was once disappointed, I picked myself up and moved on. I later got myself?a beautiful, loving and caring woman. There are many ladies with good virtues. Know that God has prepared a partner for every person no mater how long it takes. You are young, just be positive and principled and you will find yourself a lady who will make you happy forever.

The Counsellors Say

Dear Lex,
I am not sure what you are asking- but let us deal with the heartbreak situation and the negativity it has created. ?You say it has taken you almost half a year to get over a girl — well, consider yourself lucky.

Some people are still grappling with relationships long gone. I can understand not wanting to rush into anything and while three years may seem like an awfully long time, you are the only person who knows when the right time is for you.? If you are not feeling anything towards anyone, no need to force it; matters of the heart have a way of working themselves out.

One of my favourite quotes on love is by Blaise Pascal, ‘the heart has reason, that reason cannot tell’ …so stop stressing yourself over feelings. Besides, you are only 22; there are many more lessons and experiences ahead.

Stop dragging your past into today… life is short. You don’t want to remember your 20s as a time when you were miserable and grumpy. ?It’s time to move on, start over, let go and let live.

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