Folks, Happy Mashujaa Day! Seldom does this milestone fall on a Friday - Furahi Day to Nairobians - which prologues a long weekend for all manner of festivities. It’ll be a particularly joyous ride for those who can afford to drive on our roads.
Why, the roads are clear, as many motorists are opting to leave their vehicles at home and use matatus because it’s cheaper. Many commuters have resorted to walking because matatus are virtually out of reach. And those who used bikes have sold their contraptions to feed their families and retreated to the village.
I think this is what a Hustler economy looks like, it converts everyone into a hustler. Everyone is seized with the persistent question of daily survival. You could magnify the picture further to consider the larger life downgrade: Thousands of families are sitting in the dark because Kenya Power and Lighting are unable to produce electricity tokens to light up their homes.
And those who had modest comforts by living in those hamlets in the wind-swept Mavoko in Machakos county are now scrounging for a place to hide for the night, after their homes were crushed into smithereens. A court decreed that they had been illegally occupying land owned by cement firm, Portland.
As for farmers who have been planting in anticipation of the El Nino rains, word on the street is that it was a hoax intended to access public funds under false pretenses. Should farmers consider suing the Met department for spreading fake news, there is a fat chance that the learned friend before them is flaunting a leased wig, and writing from a stolen email address.
On this very day, we remember and celebrate the gallant men and women who fought to liberate our land, this is a severe indictment of the state of the nation. But there is a silver lining to this seemingly bottomless pit. Now that we’re almost at the very bottom, the only place to go, logically, is up.
I’m not the only one who shares in this optimism. Our indefatigable Deputy President Rigathi Gachagua aka Riggy G, who claims to work like a hyena, says Kenyans should wait for six months before we can start reaping the benefits of the interventions that Prezzo Bill Ruto has put in place.
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I’d have thought the singular work I have seen our Prezzo discharge effectively in the last year, besides kizungu mingi, is to travel extensively to see the world. And that’s totally understandable. When things are as grim as they are right here, we should let him catch his breath, especially if our taxes are generous enough to afford those comforts.
The truth is, he should enjoy that while it lasts; crafty businesses, I hear, have reverted to cash transactions to ensure the tax returns can only dwindle.
But that’s not to say I entirely share in Riggy G’s optimistic view of the future, especially since time is an elastic construct for him and Prezzo Ruto. We’re still waiting for the price of unga to come down, as they said it would, within days of taking office.
Neither am I sure about Riggy G’s reported industry. For as far as I can tell, the hyena has never put in an honest day’s work. He preys on what has been left by other predators who prefer their meat fresh, while the hyena lounges in the shadows, sniffing the air and scanning the skies for signs of scavengers as that can only mean a carcass is rotting away somewhere.
I suspect Riggy G was thinking of tigers, the species that he’s so fond of, he even invented some into existence in the famous mountain he claims he’s king. Yet another remarkable gift of our independence - the gift of the imagination.