My wife has cheated on me twice

This week’s topic

My wife once cheated on me and l forgave her. Two years later she allegedly travelled to Tanzania to attend a seminar and when she returned, I got suspicions and started investigating her. I discovered that she was having an affair with an old man and we separated soon after. When I asked why she did this, she said the man had promised her greener pastures. I am sure I satisfy her sexually and these two guys are not as financially stable as I am. So what could have led her into those affairs? Why does a woman cheat on her man even after being given everything?  {Ephraim}

Your Take

You may have provided financially for your wife and satisfied her sexually but clearly something is missing in your marriage. Do you create enough time for your wife to share her feelings or even discuss issues with her?  I always imagine that if Adam created time for Eve, Satan (the serpent) wouldn’t have taken advantage of her.

(Ben Shikuku)

A singer once sang that even if you give a woman the whole world, she will still demand more. Stop being the Mr Perfect you think you are. If you still want her back, sit her down and address the root cause of her straying. If you are financially stable, why would she fall for someone else’s promise for greener pastures? Something is very wrong. Wake up and smell the coffee. Go to a marriage counsellor or a pastor.

(Onyango Outha)

It is unfortunate you are the one declaring your sexual prowess and not your wife. You could be having the wrong impression and this is killing your marriage. Have you though of the fact that your wife could be suffering in silence. Just talk to her and see what is bothering her.

(Atsiaya Wilberforce)

Marriage is a serious lifetime commitment and material things don’t assure a lasting bond. Make your wife your friend and things will change. Women look for different things in marriage. There are some who look for material things, others the looks, others sex and affection. Now that she talked of greener pastures you ought to have interrogated her further to know what she is missing. You could be more stable but very mean to her. Communication is key to the survival of any marriage.

(Tasma Charles)

I am facing a similar predicament. My wife is cheating on me and I know it. There is nothing I can do about it for now because I am on a work assignment in Somalia. My friends warned me about her before we got married but I loved her so much. She is pregnant but the baby isn’t mine. I feel your pain.

(Evans)

Counsellor’s take

My take:

Ephraim, ‘greener pastures’ means a good life, financial security and property that you could not provide for her at the time.

The success of a marriage is not always about the sex but more for the finer things in life.

When you were marrying her, she assumed she would have access to all these good things in life, but for some reason, they were not forthcoming and that is why she is straying.

This is a tricky one because your wife has the mentality that grass is greener on the other side which explains why she is jumping from man to man.

Once a woman starts giving into such temptations, she will always fall prey again and again. I would advise you to talk to the pastor who officiated your wedding.

{Taurus}