Fulfilling love-making

By Jennifer Karina

Good sex takes effort and creativity and every couple is unique in their style and desires, levels of engagement.

While their chemistry has a great play in their sex life, health, age and lifestyles play a major role in the fruitfulness.

Our busy lives, high levels of stress, and careless lifestyles takes a toll on this God given gift that is so magical, precious and priceless resulting to damaged egos and relationships.

RIGHT ATTITUDE

“My partner is no longer interested in sex, he never initiates, shows no interest and is always tired. I have tried everything and it simply does not work. I would rather move on because I feel rejected. It’s been one year since we were intimate. I cannot take it anymore! It’s driving me crazy”!

These are common complains. Sex is not a topic that many partners address freely; many individuals shy away from even the mention of the three-letter word.

However, sex is a basic need and closing our eyes to free ourselves the shame of its mention is destroying our relationships. Let’s talk about it.

First, acknowledge that you need to give yourself permission to completely experience sex and its pleasures.

That means you must let go of any hindrances, past experiences, guilt, self-consciousness, judgements and personal hang-ups.

Enjoy the sex without pursuing an orgasm, because it brings with it performance anxiety and can be elusive. Feeling secure in a relationship helps you to relax and enjoy a fruitful relationship. Talk to your partner about your desires, wants, wishes and fantasies.

Adopt the right attitude to enjoy great sex. Growing up, often we were reminded of the dangers of sex but were then expected to automatically switch to being sexy when the time is right, without any preparation except may be, the bridal shower a few weeks to the wedding!

Here are a few tips:

Always capitalise on the power of a gentle touch. This is a powerful language of love and it is said that a woman needs to be touched at least seven times a day, with the seventh touch being sex.

Touching is one of the most highly effective and fulfilling things you can do for your partner.

 It helps connect in a profound and intimate way to others and ourselves. A gentle meaningful touch is powerful and communicates care, desire and building up to passionate sex.

A relaxing sensual massage unlocks one’s body to help in relaxation and great fulfilling sex.

Your touch communicates over-flowing love, tenderness, appreciation and gratefulness. Even if it does not result to sex, it helps in bonding and growing in intimacy. To get into that relaxed, tender and loving mood, focus on the other person and not yourself and your immediate needs.

Most importantly, when you give the massage, enjoy it. Be selfless and give generously ... you will be pleasantly surprised because you will enjoy great fulfilling sex!

The writer is a motivational speaker and author Marriage Built to Last.