I love falling asleep with my hubby beside me

DORCAS MBUGUA, is an avid reader of the column by Bi Mapenzi. She wrote to share experiences in her marriage.

This morning, I woke up with a ‘start’. You know those starts that are not nice; the ones that get your heart racing in a not nice way? That jolts you up faster than your mind and body can follow? Yap, that’s how I woke up. And I hate waking up like that, though it happens to me at least five times a week. The reason for my not so nice awakening was my husband G, who was up before me.

Before I get ahead of myself, let me just make some things clear. I love sleeping and waking up next to G. He is the cosiest ‘thing’ to cuddle up to at night, and the most awesome ‘thing’ to wake up to in the morning.

So back to my not so nice awakening that made me send daggers his way. (He always takes these graciously or with a wink, which irritates me even more) There are some things that I love about sleeping beside my husband. It’s the waking up bit that makes me re-analyse these feelings.

High school

I guess I should start with the things I hate about G waking up before me. Remember back in high school, somewhere in the distant past? It may be a dim memory but it’s stuck in your memory all the same because it was not pleasant. When I was in Form Four, we moved to the forth formers dorms. That was great since our ‘lights out’ was an hour later than for the rest. Better still, we could study in the laboratories, which were near the dorms.

But I digress. I have always loved my sleep and I was among the few fourth formers who barely made it to morning prep because we overslept (I did well in my ‘O’ Levels though, do not judge a sister). On most mornings, I would jolt awake to a quiet dorm because 95 per cent of the population had woken up like two hours earlier and were already in class reading as I slept. I hated that jolting awake as it left me with a hollow feeling. I would promise myself as my body tried to catch up with my startled mind that I would wake up earlier the next day (as if that would happen).

Fast forward. Most mornings, especially weekdays, G wakes up before me and I barely hear him get up. He does not wake me up because its futile — plus, who wakes up at 5:30am? Every time I wake up to find him all dressed and ready to go, I get that hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach that takes me back to my random high school mornings.

That is one of the most horrendous things about G waking up before me. It’s not his fault though; I would never wake up before seven so I just endure the feeling. The other thing I hate about G waking up before me is the empty feeling of rolling over into a cold open space where there should have been a warm, strong chest waiting to hold me. When that happens, which is often, all my sleep flies out through the window and my eyes open up so fast that my head spins. I wonder what would happen if he stayed in bed just a bit longer, or until I have made my early morning turn.

The womb

But of course with the bad come good things. When G wakes up before me, I have all this space for my legs, I can even ‘cycle’ in bed (which I do with glee when I realise I suddenly have freedom). See, G is very tall, so he ends up sleeping across the bed diagonally. This means my legs will either have to go over his or I curl myself into a foetal position. I now know what it feels like to be in the womb — not nice!

I also love a G-less bed in the morning because then, I can pull my little baby into bed for a long cuddle before I wake up and go to the bathroom. Nothing beats cuddling up to a romper-clad, powder-smelling bunch of coos and grabby little hands.

I know I speak for many married women when I say that it really is a comforting thing to have someone who shares your bed every day, even with the snores and all.

I have been married almost three years now and I cannot sleep unless my hubby is in bed with me. There is this sense of warmth and security that comes with nuzzling up to his chest and hearing his voice rumble deep in his chest as we have a little chit chat before we get sleepy and drift off. I love falling asleep with my husband beside me.

There are some things, though that I don’t like especially in the morning when it’s time to wake up.