A woman must ooze attitude

Iddi Achieng's live performances are described as heart-stopping. She wows audiences with her chants, electrifying performances and story-telling sessions that leaves people crying for more. She spoke to Shirley Genga

I was born in Nairobi, East Africa’s melting pot of cultures. I grew up in a family of four children, Richard Ouko, Rebecca Rapuro, Dorcas Akinyi and me. I was the last born.

I was a quiet child as I grew up but I would often come alive during music performances, both in church and during family fellowship at home. When I was young, my mother, Margaret Omuga, would often sing as she did her chores around the house.

My brother Richard, now a pastor, and my sisters were all involved in music. My sisters sang in the choir while my brother played the piano, drums and guitar. Richard would also take me to the Kenya National Theatre and Phoenix Theatre to watch plays and music concerts. Thus I was privileged to have a lot of music played around me.

I come from a close-knit family, sometimes we all travel to ushago (village) and just talk and reminisce, it is so much fun.

Breast cancer

I love my mother, she is my rock and I draw a lot of strength from her given what she went through to put us all through school and university after we lost our father to cancer.

Iddi Achieng

This is partly why I agreed to pose topless with 11 other women for the True Love magazine for the ‘touch yourself’ breast cancer awareness campaign. God rest his soul in peace. He died when I was only 13 years old. My mother worked hard to ensure we never lacked.

In high school, I was the entertainment prefect and drama chairlady. The music and drama bug in me was further cultivated and that only confirmed to me that music and drama were my paths. This saw me bag many trophies and accolades at the music and drama festivals both at provincial and national levels.

I always knew that I was born for the bright lights (stage). I would always tell my mother that I wanted to work with people.

I remember once, while still a student at Asumbi Girls’ High School, I told my best friend Sharon Molla, now Achieng’ Muli, how I could not wait for my time to shine. I did not know how I would get there, but I knew I belonged to the stage.

Selfless

I am an introvert and extrovert all wrapped in one. I am extremely shy and very emotional in private. Easy-cry Iddi is only known to my family and close friends. I cry when I am happy, when I am sad and when I am excited. When my son brought me flowers and sang his first kindergarten song, I cried because I was touched, strange but true.

I never forget a good deed and I am selfless. I am impatient with retrogressive people, I am bad at forgiving but I am working on it. I am told I have attitude and I am arrogant, I don’t deny it. That is what sums me up, how can a woman not ooze attitude? That is where character comes from and I have no apologies to make about that.

I am forthwith and will easily make my opinion known when I am sure that what I stand for is the truth however unpopular it may be. I don’t flow with the tide. If I am pissed, I will tell you on your face. From me what you see is what you get.

I am at a point in my life where I only give audience to progressive minds. I love socialising, I laugh till I drop with my friends who I kill with my jocular nature, which comes naturally. I go out of my way to make and keep friends. I love to dance to my fellow artistes’ music across the board.

I also dance a lot in the house with my sons especially on Sundays after church. They laugh when they see mummy dance to their music.

Other times I like to switch off and go to my inner me. I can stay in the bedroom a whole day in pure bliss of silence. I love being alone, undisturbed, I read and write a lot.

I love being a mother and I feel so blessed to have my two little soldiers. Max is eleven and Shaka is six. If anyone tells you that motherhood is easy, they are not being sincere. Motherhood is about being selfless and putting others before you. It involves taking in the pain and the joys that come along with the decisions that are in the best interest of the little hearts.

When I look back, I realise just how selfless my mother was. She literally laid down her life for us and for this, she is now my baby, I take care of her every whim whenever I can because she deserves it.

Fine gentlemen

She took care of us and worked so hard but never uttered a word of complaint. As a mother, I think the greatest lesson I can teach my sons is to respect women first as human beings and not to look at money as a basis of respecting them. I want them to see successful women as equals and not threats, as companions and not as punching bags or doormats.

If I achieve that, I will have succeeded as a mother and raised fine gentlemen. It is a rewarding full-time job and one has to learn how to balance. Motherhood made me more sensitive to the plight of others and brought out my soft side.

I believe a woman has to live her life fully or live the rest of her life regretting. I have always had two best friends. We call ourselves the ‘three musketeers’. Jecinter Hezron now at World Bank and Grace Ocholla who works at Cooperative Bank. We grew up together, went through life challenges together and are inseparable.

We are fiercely loyal to each other and meet once a month. We have set up an agreement which we call, ‘the parent deal’ that sees us visit each others’ parents in the village every year and spoil them rotten.

We all live in Nairobi and our children know each other. Every woman needs her girls, they make life beautiful.