Torn between two men

I am 27 years. I broke up with my boyfriend and got engaged to another man, who is now the father of my baby.?I don’t think I love this man, as I think it was a rebound. Although my former boyfriend hurt me very much, he never gave up on me, even after realising I was pregnant with another man.?All through my pregnancy, he was there for me while the man who made me pregnant was always away working. Although he supports me and even pays rent, he is never there. In fact, he is yet to come home since I delivered. My former boyfriend does most of the other things. He loves my baby and me. I have never disclosed to my former boyfriend the fact that the father of my child pays rent and supports me. Should I leave the father of my child and move on with my former boyfriend?

{Angie}

Edith says

Angie,
You keep referring to the father of your baby as just that, not boyfriend or fiancé. I don’t think you see him as a future husband, but just a provider. A financial crutch.

You should also wake up to the fact that you are cheating on your fiancé. You may not be sleeping with the former boyfriend, but emotionally and mentally, that’s who you are with. I think it strange that your fiancé hasn’t been to see your child, but you should also be careful not to dismiss him before you communicate with him.

Be very careful not to let a former boyfriend, who is probably enjoying the thrill of the chase, deny your child a chance to grow up with his/her father. Talk to your fiancé. You picked him. You broke up with your former boyfriend and now there is a child involved. Think about your baby and choose with your child in mind.

Your Say 

Dear Angie, I don’t know why you left your first boyfriend, but it is clear you still love him and he also loves you. It means a lot that he cares for you even though you have another man’s baby. The father of your baby is not serious. Follow your heart and decide soon because entertaining both men is dangerous

 {Irene Maghuwa, Mombasa}

Don’t you feel guilty about breaking up with one man and getting a baby with another? Your boyfriend may get suspicious if you break up with the father of your child and go back to him. Try to make ends meet with the father of your baby.

{Aseri W Dickson, Kakamega}

Your baby will need protection, care and love, so you better wake up before it is too late. If your man is away when you need him, it means he is not serious and may only be supporting you because you have his child. Sort out issues with your former boyfriend and live happily.

{Belden Mokua, Nairobi}??

It is a high time you made firm decisions about your life. However, before you do so, you ought to give yourself time to think about the situation. Analyse it critically and weigh all the possible consequences then act for the good of both you and your baby. You should also know that no one is perfect and when you face challenges with those you relate to, you should find a way of amicably resolving them.?????????

{Kaggillos Elijah, Nairobi)??

Your boyfriend hurt you and luckily you got someone to care of you even though work has kept you two apart. Other than cherishing your newfound love, you want to go back to the person who hurt you? What makes you think he won’t do it again?

{Achiz Jopa, Busia}

If you were in your former boyfriend’s shoes, how would you feel? Mark my words dear, your ex loves you very much and you better give him this chance or else you will regret it for the rest of your life.

{Fred Lastborn, Usenge}

Angie, you are abusing the generosity of your fiancé and he will never forgive you for this. Moreover, whatever made you break up has never changed. Concentrate on your relationship and start planning for your family.

{Cosmus Onyango, Kenyatta University}

You quit your first relationship because your former boyfriend hurt you very much. What makes you think he has changed? Stop being a player and respect the father of your child. He does all that because he loves you.

{Stay Mwikali, Kilifi}

 

Angie, keep away from your former boyfriend for the sake of your child. Look for a way to bring the father of your child closer. Remember all men are almost the same.

{Wilberforce Atsiaya, Kaimosi}