A golden couple celebrates

They met while they were teachers in Kitui and fell in love. Two years later they got married and last week, they celebrated 50 years in marriage, in the same wedding attire they donned in 1961. ALLAN OLINGO had a moment with these extra-ordinary lovebirds

Talking to them, one can still see the spark in Francis Katua and Jedida Kanini’s eyes as they recall how they met. Just like newlyweds, they laugh, smile and even blush as they remind each other of the tits and bits of their dating period.

"He was a friend to my brother and we met at the weekend dances where our friendship blossomed. This was way back in 1959,"

Jedida and Francis at their 50th wedding anniversary

starts Jedidah with laughter.

Francis interjects while staring at Jedida, "We both came from very strict religious backgrounds and the missionaries were against boy-girl interactions."

"I was encouraged because her parents were deeply religious and they understood that my intentions were genuine. They agreed and we got married at a lovely church ceremony in 1961. I actually did not pay any dowry," Francis remembers his eye seeing to drift back five decades ago.

Their first marriage hurdle was poverty since they had nothing apart from the love they shared with each other.

"For instance, our honeymoon was one clear example of the poverty we suffered. We wanted to go to Mombasa for our honeymoon. After the wedding, we boarded a bus at Machakos town and ended up staying with relatives in Mombasa’s Majengo estate. The best I could afford then was buying her a blouse worth Sh14 to make her smile, said Francis."

Jedida says she was not disappointed with the kind of wedding they had. In fact she felt honoured and privileged to even have gone for a honeymoon in Mombasa.

"Most people then did not have an idea of what a honeymoon was. People used to get married and together went to plough their farm the following day!" said Jedida.

Even as their honeymoon was characterised by roaming the streets of Mombasa town, Francis says he would have wished to have taken his new wife to the beach, but the pristine beaches were a reserve of whites, owing to racial discrimination.

So how does the couple feel after being together for 50 years?

"It’s through the grace of God that we have managed pull it through. We have shared honestly, gone through challenging moments together and stuck to our vows. It’s through our belief in God, our trust in Him and prayers that we have been married for this long," says Jedida.

In their marriage life, Francis says they have seen marriages break, couples engage in domestic violence and children suffer from all these. The couple says they are happy that their marriage has survived because of the foundation they had set.

"When couples fight, it is the children who suffer," says Francis. Adding: "Never let the children know about the existence of disagreements in your house leave a lone take sides. Most of them dream about having a complete and stable families and that’s the image you should always give."

Solving Disputes

Communication has been our best tool for solving problems all this while.

"You need to admit when you are wrong, apologise, forgive one another and forge ahead. The current generations lacks in this, which explains the high divorce rate," says Jedida.

Couples should understand each other’s weaknesses and work towards solving problems amicably.

Interestingly, this couple decided to be honest with their finances, an uncommon thing for couples of their age who believed women had no say in finances.

"We agreed that all the money we earned belonged to the family. We did not see any need to hide it away from one another. It’s through this that we have taken good care of what the family has," says Jedidah.

Francis says one of the things that ail marriages today is the fear to set goals. "Couples are afraid of setting goals. Before we got married, we sat down and set our goals. We decided on the number of children, the projects we wanted to achieve and the way we wanted to raise our children," says Francis.

Francis adds that since the beginning of the union, he has always believed in his wife and treated her as an equal party in marriage.

"I have never looked down upon my wife. She has the same capabilities as mine and this has strengthened the bond we share," he emphasises.

"We have never exposed our children to any differences that we have had. In case of disagreements, we always solve them out of their sight. It’s the best mode of parenting," he adds.

So what ails marriages today?

Jedida says infidelity, lack of respect and finances are amongst the leading causes of problems in marriages.

"The current generation lacks the patience and faith in building lasting unions, they are vulnerable to problems for they lack communication and poor problem solving skills," she adds.

"I always pray for my children to have a marriage like ours. The reason we celebrated our golden jubilee was to show our children and grandchildren on the importance of marriage and share our success story with them," she concludes.