Cursed for not paying dowry

A family in Gatundu is seeking to undo a curse they believe is responsible for uncessant deaths in their family, writes WAIRIMU KAMANDE

Jeremiah Mucheru has every reason to worry. Married and with a child, the 27 year-old is apprehensive about raising money to pay dowry, not for his wife, but for his ageing mother, Tabitha Muthoni.

Mucheru believes paying the bride price for his mother before that of his wife will tame death, which has under mysterious circumstances claimed the lives of nine of his eleven siblings.

Though sounding superstitious, the Gatundu North resident says the deaths could have been as a result of a curse left by their maternal grandfather over Muthoni’s bride price. By paying the dowry, he believes more deaths would be averted.

Jeremiah, the last born in the family of 12 children and the only surviving son, says misfortune struck when his paternal grandfather, Thiga Mwangi, declined to pay bride price for his son’s bride, Muthoni, their mother.

"My mother’s father had asked for 400 goats but my paternal grandfather said he did not have anything to pay dowry with except for his private parts," says Jeremiah.

Taboo

As in other African cultures, insulting an in-law is taboo; so is showing one’s private parts to their children.

Angered, the maternal grandfather, Kambutu Mwangi, told his in-law, Thiga, that he would beget many grandchildren but they would amount to nothing.

Elders who heard the old man’s utterances are said to have intervened and persuaded him to rescind it. To appease him, Thiga was asked to give a ram without blemish and an amount of honey as required by Kikuyu customs.

"My grandfather remained stubborn and declined to give the required fine," says Jeremiah.

Since then, Mucheru says, death has been a too frequent but unwelcome guest to the family.

"Since 1985, I have lost nine of my siblings and my father too. I am the only remaining son with only two sisters alive," he says, adding that he lost three siblings in barely a year.

Unusual, he says, is the fact that only one of the siblings fell ill; the rest just collapsed and died.

He adds that none of the deceased lived beyond 33 years.

"All along, my mother took it casually until Nyambura died in November last year aged 28 leaving behind four children. I guess it finally struck her that we were destined for extinction and the thought troubled her. She became mentally sick and has not recovered," says Jeremiah.

The death of Nyambura, he says, also prompted him to seek answers to the questions and a solution to undo the curse if at all it was to blame for the deaths.

After enquiring from his mother and some of the people privy to the matter, he came to know of what had transpired between his two grandfathers.

As the only surviving male in the family, Jeremiah feels the weight of responsibility in ensuring the family’s future is protected. It is for this reason that he sought counsel from those knowledgeable in Kikuyu customs, who advised him to pay dowry for his mother.

"I have a daughter and want her to live to old age. My sister’s children too," he says optimistically, playfully helping his one-year-old daughter take wobbly footsteps.

A Kikuyu elder, Wachira Kiago, who is also the national chairman of the Kikuyu Council of Elders Association, says curses are not imagined. He, however, adds that they can be undone; even ones uttered by people already dead.

Appeasing the spirits

"They need to pay dowry to their mother’s relatives. Now that the grandfather is deceased, they could take it to a close relative, like their mother’s brother, who will receive it on behalf of the deceased," Wachira says.

As concerns the insult against the old man, Wachira says they need to offer a ram to appease the spirit of the maternal grandfather.

Mucheru confesses to also having approached religious leaders in search of a spiritual intervention.

"I have not left anything to chance and have approached almost all churches around here; anything to protect our family is welcome," he says.

Archbishop Baptista Mugecha says a curse is a matter of belief and that it could be averted if the family has faith in God.

"It was not their fault that their paternal grandfather insulted their maternal grandfather. But since they already believe they have been cursed, they ought to give a token to the old woman’s family. Then they should apologise on behalf of their grandfather and then move on, believing the curse is no more. Being in-laws is about nurturing friendship," Mugecha counsels.

Jeremiah and his family have decided to let the dowry be handed over to a maternal uncle by one of his nephews named after the paternal grandfather. The nephew will then apologise on behalf of the old man. The problem is that they have not been able to raise enough money to pay the dowry despite holding a funds drive.

Hopefully, the family will, after paying the dowry, live a normal life.

Despite the apparent fear, Mucheru believes he will die of old age and be able to look after his daughter and his late sister’s orphans.