Guests, manners please!

By Esther Muchene

You have probably witnessed wedding guests who drag along the whole clan to a wedding when the invite was for one or two people. Others can never shut up as the respective speakers take the podium and their 'hush' tones are not so hush.

It’s like people forget how to behave. Maybe because of the assumption that wedding etiquette ends with the couple and their families.

However, rules apply to guests as well and they better have them in mind before setting foot on a wedding. For you to be invited you must be special in one-way or another. For this reason, you owe the couple uttermost respect and save the faux pas for another occasion. Some may think it’s easy being a guest; all you need is to show up and enjoy. Wrong! As a guest there’s more to that and there are rules you have to follow that go without saying.

DO:

• RSVP or cancel as soon as possible as most decisions are based on the number of guests.

• Send a wedding gift even if you are not attending the wedding.

• Take alcohol in moderation. You are there to celebrate together not get drunk and embarrass everyone.

• Participate in certain things such as welcoming of the bride and or bouquet toss regardless of how you feel about them. To you, some of these may seem tacky but it’s not your day.

• Keep your children under control and quiet.

• Be mindful when speeches and announcements are being made. Basically, it’s very rude to make noise when someone else is addressing the audience.

• Follow the day’s programme.

• Sit at your assigned table should there be a sitting arrangement; don’t start changing places. The couple knew why she wanted you seated there.

• Respect all the service providers. Should there be a wedding planner on site, accept her role as the one in charge and listen to him or her.

• Turn off your phone or put it on silent.

• Purchase gifts from their registry as requested.

• Enjoy and have fun.

DON’T:

• Ask the bride if you can be a bridesmaid. There is a reason she did not choose you.

• Bring uninvited guests unless the invitation card says so. This includes children. A common habit in Kenya!

• Wear white! This is a major no-no. Only the bride should wear white regardless of the white cute dress you bought. Ivory and off-white are okay but try to steer-off as well.

• Another dressing no-no is going overboard with your dressing. Be in touch with the surroundings such as the ceremony. Bearing too much cleavage or back-less outfits in church may be considered disrespectful. As much as you want to look sexy or stand out, consider the environment and people who will be in attendance such as the young and elderly. In short, respect the sanctity of the ritual and formality.

• Be late! The reason you get an invitation is to guide you on the times. Should you be late, wait until the coast is clear and you have been given the go ahead by the ushers or those in charge. Enter quietly using the side doors if any and take a back seat.

• Fight for the best angle for taking photos. Please give room for the photographers hired for this work.

• Ditch the church ceremony for the reception. The fact that you were invited is so that you can share all the special moments with them. Don’t just take advantage of the free food and drinks.

• Open the dance floor no matter how good the music is. Follow the lead of the couple and only join in after their first dance if any or when requested to do so.

• Leave before the reception is over. It’s very rude after all they have done for you.

• Just talk to the people you know. Try and get acquainted to others especially on your table.

• Pile your plate with food like it’s the last time you’ll eat. Be considerate of others.