For Christ sake, it’s a prayer not a shouting match

By BILL ODUNGA

KENYA: Praise the Lord good people. God is good, all the time. Now that we have that out of the way, let’s talk about holy noise.

See, for the better part of last year, I was all for the cloth. I performed spoken word in praise of the creator and spelled His name with a capital ‘G’.

I was saved; up until I realised that the pleasures of this world were much too convincing to ignore.

Since then, I have never been keen on saying my prayers or attending church services.

Deity

These days, I do not acknowledge any concept that brings a man to his knees. Be it a deity, a monarch or a woman. God and I have this long distant relationship that I remember just before sitting for exams.

Every day, however, at noon and midnight, the hopefuls of the Pearly Gates engage in prayer.

Prayer is communication with God, but do these guys really have to shout? Especially during the midnight prayers when the rest of the school is asleep. 

Our brethren have this uncanny timetable in which they summon the Holy Spirit at the most inappropriate of hours, and when the Holy Ghost descends upon them, sleep becomes impossible. I don’t know about you, but I am not hot for anyone who asks me for favours and stuff while shouting, and since we were created in God’s likeness, then its arguable that he resents it too, right?

Furthermore si the Good Book says that He is omnipresent; that means He is right there next to us while praying? So why would you raise your voice at Him as if you are awakening Him from a hangover on the mountain tops?

On the other hand, it would be unfair to castigate the men and ladies of the cloth for their high pitched prayers, when we sinners haven’t been silent either. We turn up the music on Friday nights, and most of the time during the week, we have also been known to wake up our neighbours with licentious moans.

Scream

So for all I know, it is a tit-for-tat thing that goes on. You make your girlfriend scream your name while asking her who her daddy is, and the crusaders will exact the same villainy through holy noise.

This back and forth thing isn’t really what we need. I think we can reach an understanding, a middle ground.

 A compromise that suits both the Gentiles and the chosen flock.

 If we promise to be quiet during our nocturnal rendezvous, do you promise to at least give us all a break?

Even if it is not for us sinners’ sake, do it for God’s sake — think about His eardrums. In Jesus name I pray…can I get a witness? Amen.