Widow's humiliation and the shame of our deeply patriarchal society

A widow is assaulted for allegedly refusing to perform rites during her husband's burial, in Nyamira, on March 24, 2025. [Stanley Ongwae, Standard]

The sun rose in the Gusii highlands, but with it did not come warmth, only the cold shadow of oppression. The air was thick with grief, yet it was not the widow's grief alone. It belonged to a society that has, for centuries, mistaken tradition for justice, obedience for dignity, and silence for respect. A widow stood before her husband's grave, burdened not only by loss but by expectation. She did not pour soil. She did not follow the script. And for that, she was beaten and flogged into submission by those who still believe that a woman's mourning must be choreographed by the men around her.

Kenya claims to be a land of justice, the home of equity, the bastion of human dignity. Yet here we are, in 2025, flogging widows for grieving 'incorrectly.' The past is not dead. It is not even past. It lurks in the corners of our society, hiding in the crevices of patriarchy, waiting to pounce the moment a woman dares to define herself outside the framework of male expectation. Many years ago, in 1987, SM Otieno's widow, Wambui Otieno, learned this lesson the hard way. She fought not for power, not for privilege, but for the simple right to bury her husband, a right that in any just society, would be unquestionable.