Palaver

Good morning Your Excellencies Salva Kiir and Omar Al Bashir. Hope you had a good night’s rest. Before you embark on your very important job of counting the oil barrels that were filled last night, there is the small matter of the 10,000 of your folks stranded near Renk, along the south-north border. There are also the 33,000 returnees languishing in Central Equatoria, Eastern Equatoria, Jonglei and Lake States. Sorry to keep you waiting, Your Excellencies. Word just reached us that the UN’s International Organisation for Migration, Plan International and the Kenya Government will take care of that small detail. After all, that is what you pay them to do, isn’t it? Have a fine day Your Excellencies.

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In the city of Cape Town, traffic flows like a dream. To add a feather to their cap, they made this Easter a stay-alive one with their ‘No-Road-Death’ campaign. Targeting motorists using cell phones while driving, police had within the first 90 minutes, nabbed 19 drivers using their cellphones. The drivers had to pay a fine of 500 rand. The campaign was a runaway success. If caught a third time, the driver’s cell phone is seized, and only returned after some payment is made. Pssst! Psssst! Now if only our Traffic Commandant  Joseph ole Tito could read this!

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Kimani Maruge must be having a jolly good laugh. Remember some folks spoke about his quest for literacy as if it was criminal to try and squeeze under a Standard One desk. Ha! Ha! Mzee Maruge has, for his trouble, been immortalised in film and given hope to millions of learners around the world. Now hundreds, nay, thousands  of chaps, wannabe governors and councillors are flocking to classrooms to get that elusive certificate before the polls. God Bless you Maruge.

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And finally...

Almost all leaders in Africa who have got the money, get “specialised” medical attention abroad. They forget to upgrade local hospitals to reach those lofty standards only to be found abroad, for an arm and a leg. Name any one top African leader who has dared be hospitalised (not for a quick check-up) in a local hospital and Palaver  will eat a whole kilo of humble pie.

 editorial@standardmedia co.ke