Jealousy is something your average man handles badly

By Jeeh Wanjura

You could see traces of lack of conviction on the face of the man holding the broken loaf to demonstrate his point on portfolio equity in the Coalition Government.

His ostensible point was that the Coalition partners really got it even. The bread had been split into two equal halves that were then handed to the respective political wives in the two main parties’ houses. And that’s where inequity set in, he claimed.

While PNU assembled its family, placed its half on the table and shared out the slices on is-as-is basis, ODM distributed its portion in opacity and bias. But the example was fundamentally flawed. Any high school student or economically hard-pressed Kenyan who cannot afford a full loaf will tell you sliced bread pieces are hardly even in number. Often, the evenness is missed in individual slices size too. It is therefore difficult for a 50-50 situation, even if the extra slice is halved as well. A sharp eye can see which of the portion is bigger from several metres away. This is manifest evidence that momentarily took away the example giver’s conviction. When the bread was broken, his eye apparently noted the size discrepancy. So he attempted to shuffle the pieces but the glaring difference persisted. Suffice it to say the case for ODM having been short-changed had been inadvertently stated so eloquently than Jakoyo Midiwo can ever hope to even if he somehow found an appropriate masculine voice.

But then, so what? James Orengo, the Lands Minister, says though acutely aware of this imbalance, ODM can tolerate the situation if only its partner accorded it "good manners". But that is like pleading with a stranger you found in your matrimonial bed to go easy with the passion for the sake of your sleep on the couch. Surely a worldly mind like Prof Anyang Nyong’o ought to know that in a polygamous set up, conjugal rights is a one-way traffic: it only applies the man’s way.

The wives are advised patience if and until he catches their transient fancy.

The clever-and often younger-wives behave like William Ruto. As the Agriculture Minister has argued, it is pointless keeping a diary of when the husband last warmed your bed. More useful, he reasons, it would be to show practical evidence of what you did with the opportunity. He has chided fellow ODM ministers threatening to pull out of Government. Show what you have done with the little you have been given instead of perennially whining, he says. If you manage so much with the little given, you can claim the moral high ground in pitching for more.

Playing this game

Good point. But Ruto is only telling half the story perhaps because his true gospel bears little such aplomb. At a practical level, he appreciates first loyalties must be to self needs. Starving is foolish and lazy, especially where supply abounds. And like with the maize shortage, there is always someone willing to trade in what you are lacking if only you knew where to look. True, whatever is being offered may not always be without controversy. But the idea is to make it abundantly known to the selfish husband that what he got, others got it too and that unless he shapes up, you will contemplate shipping out. Jealousy, whether political or conjugal, is something your average man handles badly.

The Agriculture Minister is playing this game to perfection. It is like a rather attractive young wife married to an old man acutely aware of her trophy value. She is daring in bending otherwise taboo rules for the rest of the harem because, well, she knows she is indispensable. And this knowledge is sometimes exhibited with unimaginable abandon. She is coquettish and flirtatious. She is liberal in seeking and embracing seasonal liaisons. So many times, she sleeps in strange beds. But like with Hosea and Gomer, love or rather expediency wins her forgiveness amid another round of false renewal of marital vows.

You can see this in the kaleidoscope of political affairs the Eldoret North MP has been getting into lately. The frequency of his on-off relationship with Raila Odinga, for instance, has become an increasingly dull soap opera. He and the Prime Minister behave like an old couple that lost love for each other years ago. But for appearance sake and shared investments, they cannot afford divorce. The only affection in it is tolerance.

Possessed with a restless heart searching for affection, Ruto has taken his quest for political sex elsewhere. He claims even Martha Karua tried and failed to date him. The brief affair left behind the acrid flavour of sour grapes in his relationship with the Justice Minister.

By contrast Kiraitu Murungi embraced him like in a union made in heaven. The glue in it was panic and desire for political survival from a common enemy.

Now Ruto has a new catch in Finance Minister Uhuru Kenyatta. But while he glows in the cock-of-the-walk pleasures, the maiden needs to tread carefully. A high turnover of lovers may be good for the ego insofar as desirability is concerned. But it leaves behind many exes. True, some may be happy for the riddance. But in many cases, especially in politics, it nurses grudges of betrayal and unreliability. A better way to grow determined enemies is harder to fathom.

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