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10 types of people you are likely to meet in class

UREPORT
By Ivy Aseka | Nov 30th 2017 | 2 min read
By Ivy Aseka | November 30th 2017
UREPORT

 1. The seasonal one

This one is as rare in class as a slay-queen with eyebrows and a functioning brain. They will only show up on the exam day and presentations and have you asking whether you really belong in that class.

2. The drunk

Every class has this one that indulges in everything illegal under the sun. They are constantly high. They show up in every class reeking of sin and all venereal diseases acquired in the club. On a good day, they mask the stench with cologne.

3. The preacher

This one swears by the Holy Book and lives by it, which is a beautiful thing. They have earned the well-deserved title, Reverend. They put on oversize clothes, and judge everyone.

4. The married ones

These ones show up late, reeking of fornication. They rub it on everyone’s faces. They don’t care. After all, they are married.

5. The slay-queens and kings

These ones sit in front of the classroom. They will be heard discussing their eyebrows and festivals they are too broke to attend. They are always the last to get to the classroom and the first ones to leave.

6. The intellectuals

They are quick to ask and even quicker to answer questions. They believe university is too slow for them and lecturers have nothing to offer. They are always asking questions.

7. The businessman

This one has all the past papers from 1963. He also has a photocopying machine and prints at five bob, when he isn’t selling mandazis and eggs of course.

8. The politician

This one does not know how he landed in class. In the class group, he is quick to forward all political material. He is on every campaign team, on and off campus. But he did not vote in the last election.

9. The grapevine

This one always knows who is pregnant and which guy pees while seated. He also knows which lecturer is seeing which student. He is the spring that brings forth all gossip.

10. The pet

This is the worst of them all. They are most probably the class representative.

They will be seen on the front seat of every lecturer’s class. They are quick to show up to class.

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